Easter worship

Easter was a beautiful time of worship for me this year because I finally gave in to the urge to watch "The Passion of Christ". I have fought the urge all this time because I did not want to visualize an actor's face when I read about Jesus, Mary or the disciples in the Bible. I felt like even though the plot followed the biblical account, that the imagery would still be a negative thing for my thought life. I was surprised when this year I felt compelled to watch the movie, even though I did so cautiously.

I am so pleasantly surprised at how I felt. As I heard Easter hymns and reflected on Jesus' death and resurrection the next morning, the movie helped me to understand deeper the pain and torment that Jesus went through for me. As I watched the scenes where he was being beaten, scourged, whipped, spit upon, I was so deeply aware of my sin and so sorrowful for it. Even though I wanted to yell through the screen and through thousands of years, "Stop beating my Savior!", I was also keenly aware that my sin was what truly crucified Him. His desire to save me from my sin held him on the cross. His love for me kept Him from walking away from the abuse. My sin drove the nails in His hands and feet. My sin was the reason He refused to rebuke the men who beat Him. He suffered the humiliation of wearing a crown of thorns while being fully God, the king of Kings. I can't tell you the deep sense of love, awe, thankfulness, and worship I feel for my Savior. I am full of humility and sorrow and joy and honor all at the same time. Praise God for his mercy and grace!

Favorite Easter song this year: "Come Boldly to the Throne of Grace", Red Mt. Church, The Gadsby Project

Come boldly to the throne of grace, ye wretched sinners come. And lay your load at Jesus' feet and plead what He has done. How can I come some soul may say? I'm lame and cannot walk. My guilt and sin have stopped my mouth I sigh but dare not talk. Come boldly to the throne of grace. You're lost and blind and lame. Jehovah is the sinner's friend and ever was the same. He makes the dead to hear His voice, He makes the blind to see. The sinner lost he came to save and set the prisoner free. Come boldly to the throne of grace, O Jesus fills the throne. And those He kills he makes alive, He hears the sigh or groan. Bankrupt souls who feel and know the hell of sin within. Come boldy to the throne of grace the Lord will take you in...take you in...take you in.

We're still celebrating!

My baby boy. He's been given faith in our Savior and he'll be in kindergarten in a few months. Where has the time gone? Here he is just a year or so ago. I just want to wrap my arms around him and never let him grow up. I like him just like he is right now.

#2 becomes a Christian!

It has been an unforgettable day in our household. It all started when I said, "Do you know what your name means? It means 'the Lord is my salvation'." He replies, "Well Mommy means 'you are wonderfully made!'" I laughed at the sweetness in his comment. Then he asked what salvation meant. And then later he said, "I want to be a Christian." After I probed and explained and we read a little book for children that very simply and eloquently explains the gospel, my precious little boy prayed to receive Jesus as His Lord and Savior this afternoon. I will always treasure this day. Today he became a new creation. We are celebrating with Jesus and the heavenly angels today because my little son will spend an eternity in heaven and a life time here on earth walking with Jesus. What a thrill for my soul! Days like this are what parenthood is all about. Being able to share the gospel with my own flesh and blood is the biggest honor of my life. I am so full of worship and praise tonight!
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
I Peter 2:9

Why do I love house projects so much?

This was my main accomplishment this weekend. I dressed up the window in the kitchen.I got the fabric for $3 a yard. Including the rod and the ring clips, the entire project was under $40, which makes me so happy. With this yellow paint and my lime green bookshelf and these curtains, I would venture to say we have the sunniest kitchen this side of the Mississippi. But it makes me happy, so I enjoy it.

I also put new knobs and pulls

on the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen. I will have to touch up the paint and paint the brass hinges white. I am NOT looking forward to it, but I'll be glad to have that done. It took three trips to Home Depot to get that all squared away.Here's a fun buy. $7 for this little orange, polka dotted planter. I put my half dead violet in it. Maybe now I'll remember to water it. Speaking of watering, I did some gardening. Mainly I made 5 hanging baskets for the fence. Maybe I'll post those later. I am happy with the way they turned out, not so happy with the price tag! Those 5 baskets and flowers cost nearly $100!

This weekend I didn't accomplish nearly what I set out to. But I had a ball with the baby. We were in and out of stores a lot looking for good bargains. She attracted a lot of attention because when she is feeling well she coos and smiles until she can get each person's eye contact. We actually had one woman in the fabric store kiss her on the cheek. That was odd, but a nice gesture, I guess. I also had an employee in a home decor place ask if she could hold her. I didn't see the harm. It is interesting to watch a little extrovert in the making. And I am so thankful, finally, for another family member who loves to shop!

Divide and conquer

This weekend my hubby decided to take the boys camping last minute. So they just left for the mountains. These weekends bring memories that are talked about for months to come. #2 is particularly excited because it is his first camping trip. They looked so ready for adventure. I secretly hate camping. I love the beautiful woods, mountains and creeks. But I prefer to see them on a hike...and the GO HOME! They will come back grimy, filthy and content.

Meanwhile, I am so pumped for my girly time with my little #3. We plan to plant flowers in the yard, go to a french restaurant and go shopping. I may rent a chick flick and have a glass of wine tonight when she goes to bed. Maybe something chocolate would be good, too!

Potty talk

Parenting question:

What is a natural consequence for a kid who always forgets (or neglects) to flush the potty? He loves to clean, so cleaning the potty would not be memorable...and would be kinda gross. I've heard practice helps to break a bad habit, but he would probably enjoy flushing over and over again, too. Please help...any suggestions? Don't be shy! We actually had a guest go to use the toilet and find poop that he left unflushed! Nice!

Unfortunately with #3 we were at the dr again. My little girl never quite shook the stuffy nose from the virus from a week or so ago. See how red her nose is in the picture? I took her to the dr today and found out she has her first ear infection. Six months probably seems young, but the boys were much younger so I feel like this is a great accomplishment to make it this long! I am ready to see her back to normal soon. Some how her sleep has remained uneffected, praise God! Please pray for a quick recovery!

Wild West party

J's sock horse
Pretty cute, huh?

My little cuties all dressed up

Tonight J's class had a Wild West party. I was deeply touched by the creativity and energy that was poured into the party by several of the moms and dads. I wanted to post more pictures, but I am not sure everyone would be so thrilled to have their kids' pictures posted on a blog. The kids made stick horses, painted horseshoes, had live singing, dancing and storytelling, roped pretend bulls and played in this amazing back yard. It was a good chance to get to know the parents and siblings on a deeper level. I am constantly stunned by how accepted and loved our family is at this school! Several parents told me tonight that their child talks about J so fondly, just like he has been in the class all year. I feel so blessed to be part of such a unique, amazing group! J's teachers were there and loved on all of us, including T and LJ.

I am going to bed tonight praising God for giving us a school that is a perfect fit. This has been an emotional week for me regarding schooling because we have been praying all week about whether or not to send T to kindergarten next year. He turns 5 on August 31, the last day to make the cut for kindergarten. We had reservations, knowing he would be the very youngest one in his class. My man listened to my observations and opinions and then asked me to allow him to make the ultimate call. I promised to submit. He decided yesterday, after a long conversation with the principal of the school, that we ARE sending T to kindergarten. Tonight as I looked around at the amazing families and teachers, I was excited for the first time and not nervous. T is in for a really special treat!

Two thoughts on anger and marriage

My friend and I had a pretty candid conversation about marriage and the differences between men and women today. We shared how we are discovering how much anger we can allow in our hearts towards our precious husbands. We discovered two main reasons why this seems to occur for us. We agreed that the first is because we were trained in Bible studies and at church as young college women to save ourselves for our husbands. We obeyed faithfully and consequently expected a fairy tale marriage. Over the years life has sometimes proved to be difficult and sad and hectic. Somewhere along the way we realized that we began to really miss the romance and the fairy tale that we always secretly expected. Even with amazing, loving husbands I would venture to say that most Christian women realize in their marriage at some point that they have had false notions of what marriage would "look like". (We probably have the same false notions of parenthood, as well. No one ever told me that you have a 6 week period after giving birth, that my hips and stomach would never recover or that my hair would turn 5 shades darker, among many other things!)

The second reason we found that we have harbored anger is because we are secretly resentful that our husbands seem to have more freedom to be alone or with friends than we do. They leave the house for work and come home 8 hours later looking exactly as they did when they left! (Meanwhile, we are lucky to get a shower, have spit-up on our shoulders, and look generally frassled by 5 pm.) We often find ourselves longing to run an errand or eat lunch alone or with a friend, and it irks us a little that our husbands have that option almost daily. I remember my husband coming home and telling me once that his friend had treated him to lunch at a restaurant that I love. I calculated that during that fun luncheon, I was dragging the children through Kroger somewhere between isle 1 and 10. I remember feeling deep envy for my husband that day and not serving him with a happy heart, to say the least!

By the end of my conversation with my friend today we were laughing at ourselves. One of God's biggest ways of showing me grace is by honoring my efforts to be open and vulnerable with my own sin to other women. He always shows me how common my struggles are and usually allows me to laugh at myself. Honestly, my friend and I both have newborns that are our third children, so we can excuse some of our desperation and chalk it up to exhaustion. But truly I think every woman I know has struggled in these areas to some degree. Thankfully, God has given me a quick, easy solution. I need to pray more for my husband. I need to beg God to give me a selfless love that is truly happy for him. I need to realize that his needs are just as important and vast as mine. I need to believe that the gospel is true and that He can take away my sinfulness and replace it with love. And I need to be very diligent in having girls' nights and date nights to reconnect.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:7-8

A New Season

Today is the first day of spring and #3 is 6 MONTHS OLD! It's been half of a year already. Wow, time definitely flies faster with each child, don't you think? It is supposed to be 78 degrees this afternoon and sunny. The flowers in the yard are blooming and we've all pulled out our spring clothes. This afternoon I am taking the kids out to lunch and then to Publix for a cupcake to celebrate #3's 1/2 birthday. Can you tell we love reasons to celebrate?

Here' s what my little girl has learned this month:

• She is now eating all cereals and several veggies. She has cut her feedings down considerably. Only 5 feedings now, three of which are at our mealtimes and include solids.
• She takes two long naps a day, 2 1/2-3 hours a piece and goes to bed when her brothers do.
• She can sit up alone, but topples after a while.
• Her favorite toy is her Exersaucer.
• She can grab and shake her rattles and manipulate all of her toys really well with her cute, little chubby hands.
• Her favorite song is, "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam".
• She holds her hand out when she wants to be picked up.
• We started baby sign language with her, but no success yet.
• She is eating from her highchair.
• When I hold her on my hip she squeezes on and fits well like a big baby and not a sack of potatoes.
• She now uses both hands, switching back and forth.
• She has no use for the swing or bouncy seat any more.
• She shows a little shyness with strangers.
• She loves other babies and still prefers men over women (with the exception of Mommy, of course!).

A healthy, normal day, thank the Lord!

Things are back to normal around here. #3 is playing and #2 is dressing her up like Spiderman and snickering...life is good! She still has a little runny nose, but it is clear and she seems to be happy again. No fever for 2 1/2 days! I forgot what a happy little camper she is when she is feeling good. (And I also forgot what a depressed, pathetic lunatic I am when my kids are sick!)

Today my little guys had their first tball game of the season. #2 is on the youngest league, the four year olds. My sides hurt from laughing at those guys! One little boy cried every time the ball did not get hit his way in the out field. One time this little cutie stopped in mid tracks and started crying because his hands were so cold. Several kids ran to third base instead of first. The kids commonly looked like they were playing football instead of baseball as they dove and fought for the ball. Oh, they were so cute! I think #2 is going to be our athlete. Even big brother was proud of his quick plays on first base and his good hard hits and fast running. He was absolutely having a blast! #1 had fun, too. He just seems to be more into daydreaming and less into the game. To quote him he told me this weekend, "God just made me different, Mama!" Yes, he did. Different and precious and smart and amazing! I truly believe the highlight of the game for him was the award/snack time at the end. He got "best sportsmanship" and #2 got "most Christ-likeness". My proudest moment of the day was when my Dad complemented #2 on playing so well at his game and he looked over at #1 and said, "You are a gweat baseball player, too!" My Dad was not showing any favoritism to #2, he just happened to be sitting by him at the moment. But I was proud of my little boy's love and selflessness to think of his brother's need to be noticed, too.

My parents drove three hours and spent the night last night just to see the boys play their short, one hour games. Do my kids have any idea how blessed and loved they are? And #3 enjoyed warm hugs, and a new highchair and rattles from Nana's shopping spree with Mommy. She has lots of love for both sets of her grandparents and loves visits and cuddles from them! She is soaking up her important and special role of being the last grandchild on both sides of our family...or at least we think she will be!?

I am so stuffed from my parents treating us to Outback for dinner. Wow! I'm going to go stuff my big ole' bloated booty in the bed!

Our visit to the emergency room

It all started with #3 and a "cold" on Saturday. By 3 am her fever spiked at 103. We fought the fever, upset stomach and stuffy nose for the next day and a half. I took her to see the dr. on Monday just to be cautious. Her lungs, throat and ears were normal, it was "just a virus" and we were sent home with cold medicine. By that afternoon her fever was moving toward 104. Our boys never run high fevers so I called one more time. At the end of the conversation I mentioned she is making a grunting noise. Turns out the grunting noise can be a sign that a baby is having trouble breathing. I really didn't think she looked like she was having trouble breathing. But the nurse on the phone told me to get to the nearest E.R. When I began to debate aloud which hospital would serve her best she replied, "You just need to get to the NEAREST emergency room!"

I began to feel my heart beating faster and the blood rush to my face. I told the boys we had an emergency and I needed them to get on shoes, quickly. #1 lazily replied, "Mama, I'll be right there. I want to finish my computer math game. It is educational, after all. I am counting money!" I turn him around and explain to him that the baby is really sick and we need to get to a hospital quickly. I tell them that everything will be alright, but this is an EMERGENCY! Poor #1! In the next 10 minutes he would patiently and calmly find my lost keys and the lost infant seat for the car. (How does someone forget where they put a car seat??) I throw a few things in a diaper bag, turn on the hazard lights and we pull out of the drive way. (Sidenote: My husband was coaching little league so he was not there to help me get the kids loaded up. The boys were at home due to runny noses.)

I call my man and tell him what is going on. Then we spend the next 15 minutes trying to keep #3 awake. #1 sang to her, laughed with her and talked to her the whole way there. When we got to the emergency room I decided to quickly park the car. We pull into the lot and I couldn't find a parking spot. #1 and #2 begin to pray. We immediately found a spot. My boys minister love and grace to me so often in my times of need!

As I do the half walk, half run, while dragging three children dance into the E.R., I see my husband pull into the parking lot. We proceed through the adult ER into the pediatric ER. It sortof made my stomach sick to be in that room! There were two kids that had vomit pans. One girl had a "goose egg" bigger than any egg I have ever seen on her forehead. Three kids had swollen arms or wrists which appeared to be broken. And there was one other sick baby. And then there was some goofy teenage couple that did not look sick and the guy was oddly amused with the Mary Poppins movie. He actually made me laugh. Within 10 minutes our best friends from church came to pick up the boys. Thank you SO much to them! They drove 30 minutes to the hospital and took the kids home, had special prayers with them for #3, gave them their favorite bedtime snack, loaned them pjs and toothbrushes, and let them fall asleep secure and happy. I will never know how people make it through life without a church community to love and care for them!

The entire ordeal was over in 2 hours. We found out that #3 reacts to high fevers by grunting when she breathes. Apparently kids have all kinds of weird ways of dealing with fevers that spike quickly. She was not actually having breathing problems at all. By 10:30 we had gotten the boys and we were all 5 back under our own roof and in our warm beds. #3 is still really sick with a high fever, but I am confident that it is just a really bad virus and I pray it will run its course soon! What a night! Did I mention that I have a phobia of hospitals??

A taste of spring

Spring is in the air! I am so excited for warmer weather! Here are some pictures of the kids enjoying our neighborhood playground. The boys are REALLY into pirates right now, can you tell? Oh, I LOVE the end of winter...picnics, rain puddles, the park! Bring it on!!

Facing the Giants

Tonight we watched Facing the Giants together. It is an incredible movie and God used it to deeply minister to my soul. I don't have time to write much except I do want to highly recommend it to families with children of all ages. My boys weren't into it during the first 10 minutes, but loved it by the end. I cried, well sobbed really, at least in 5 different scenes. The movie shares a beautiful story of God's grace and love and what He can do when we are not ruled by fear!

We are weak but He is strong...Yes, Jesus loves me

I have finally surrendered myself to the fact that I am in an exhausting season. I am typically an optimist to a fault. Through deep fatique and exhaustion over the past months, I could always see light at the end of the tunnel. But sometimes, it is what it is. Whew, and what IT is, is EXHAUSTION!

I can't help it, the optimist in me has to say...But I am SO thankful for the work God has given me! (That thankfulness doesn't keep me from literally weeping several times a week begging God for a break, but I am thankful none the less!) I think the bottom line is that it is time for me to be a little pushy with #3 about her sleep patterns. I began this week letting her cry at night. I realized suddenly, she will be 6 months on the 21st, she should not need a middle of the night feeding! So I have laid in bed the last 3 nights and listened to her cry for 30-50 minutes. She always gets back to sleep and continues to sleep all night. She has slept for 10 hours (minus the time crying in the middle of the night) all three nights without me picking her up or feeding her. And she wakes up in the morning happy and cooing, which is God's way of graciously showing me that the crying will not scar her for life!

I think we pulled away from many responsibilities and ministries when we had #1 and #2. But during this season, God has plainly revealed to me that we should not do that! In fact, we have felt lead by God to reach out to more people right now than ever before in our marriage. I know that God's grace is sufficient for me as I strive to give Him all my love and gratitude. But there are some days that I struggle to put one foot in front of the other. So I have to ask what gives...the housework, the needy friend calling for advice, the family that needs a meal, the children that want to play one more board game, the baby that will only settle for Mama's arms, the home cooked meal, clean sheets, time in the Word, the phone call to the friend who had the doctor's appointment, the article for the church newsletter, the extra book that I wanted to read with the kids, the meeting at school, the prayer for the teacher, the email to the family member, the glass of wine with my man.... So many wonderful ways to touch other people, so little time!

Today my husband blessed me beyond any other thing that could have come my way. He gave me one hour that I would normally be driving carpool and asked me to spend it resting. It was beautiful and ministered to my soul as much as my body. He even took the kids out to lunch to give me more quiet time. I guess God uses our own weaknesses, whether emotional or physical, to allow others the opportunity to bless us. "When I am weak, He is strong."

All about #2

#2 loves rhyming words. He ends every sentence with two rhyming words. For example, "Good morning mommy, hommy" or " My favorite color is blue, glue". It used to be cute until he nicknamed the baby a silly name. That drives me nuts! I keep hoping that poetry will be his gift and maybe we'll see him reap from the rhyming madness.

So the other day we were at Moe's. He always gets a kick out of the loud greeting. He is quite the extravert and appreciates the warm welcome. So when they yelled, "WELCOME TO MOES!" He quickly yelled out, "WELCOME TO MOES, HOES!" We laughed histerically along with a few others that heard him. What a character!

#1 shares the gospel with #2

We were getting ready for church on Sunday and I could hear #1 and #2 bickering. I would hear #2 yell at #1 repeatedly and annoyingly. #1's steady response was, "Did you create the world? No, you didn't! It's not your world! It's God's world. SO STOP BEING SO BOSSY!" I liked that response so I just let them work it out. After about five minutes their Daddy and I overheard a beautiful conversation. It went something like this:
#1:When are you going to quick being bossy? Do you know Jesus? I think you need Jesus!
#2:I know Jesus. He died on "da" "cwoss".
#1:Yes, but are you a Christian? I'm a Christian!
#2:I don't know.
#1:Well, you need Jesus 'cuz you have sin and you can't get to heaven like that without Jesus....DAD!!! Come and tell him about Jesus and that prayer!!
So Daddy gets both boys on his lap in our room. He delicately shares the gospel to #2. At the end he asks #2 for a recap. He seems to get the idea...sin, separation, repentance, the cross, Jesus, heaven. Then when my man asks him if he wants to pray right then and become a Christian he says, "No, not wight now. Can I go pway now?"
We just smiled at each other and off they went back to playing. I am grateful for the time with him and the great questions he asked. I am thankful that a seed was planted. I pray that the Holy Spirit will come and water and fertilize that little seed and help it to grow. What an awesome thing it is to see God working in our children's lives!

Farewells

Today one of my best friends moved away. Her family lives less than a few miles away and we saw them virtually every day when we homeschooled. My heart is so heavy and sad today. Things will not be the same around here without her. She was the friend that I swapped leftovers with on an "off" cooking night. She was always the last minute life saver for childcare. She let me borrow her jeans. Her children and mine were so close. Her house was one where we didn't knock on the door, we just came right in unannounced. We were pregnant together and our babies are only 5 weeks apart. She was the first person to guess that I was pregnant and pulled the truth out of me when I swore to myself that we would not tell anyone so early! We prayed together and read books together. We swapped advice and encouragment. We took the kids to plays and museums and parks together. We had many girls' nights out together at Mexican restaurants or Starbucks. Our husbands went out every Wednesday night for a beer together and were accountability partners. Our boys were inseparable and endlessly laughed at booger and gas jokes, despite our threats and consequences.

So many bonds, so many special memories! She left with her husband and four kids after four years of raising support to be missionaries in Slovakia. I am so thrilled to see them take the good news of the gospel to a needy country. I know God will be glorified through their efforts...but we are still losing our dear friends, and I am lamenting.

#1 has taken the move the hardest. He has cried more tears than I could count. He is afraid that he will not remember his friends' faces. He says that our house will not be the same and he is ready to move. He awoke at 6:45 this morning, crawled into my bed, turned his face away from me, and began to cry. He said, "I don't want my friends to fly away today."

We went to their house on Monday to say good-bye, but I could not find the words. I felt like maybe I could get through our farewell without a tear until I held their little girl. She is almost 2 years old and such a fiesty, funny, precious little thing. She held out her arms and asked me to take her from her Mama. I held her and she laid her head on my shoulder, stuck her thumb in her mouth, and began to string her little fingers through my hair. She looked up at me and just smiled innocently. I realized that I may not ever get to hold her again. By the time she lives in the States again she will be nearly six years old and not a baby any more. I held her tight and the tears began to pour. I took a little walk around the house with her and just enjoyed the moment. It was so overwhelmingly sad for me!

I know God is going to teach us so much for His glory. I am finding myself not able to take the pain away from my little boy, and rarely do I even feel like I am comforting him. I am learning to continually surrender his little tender heart to the Lord for comfort and strength. And I am learning the same lesson for myself.

"My hope is found in nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholy lean on Jesus' name."

Another month bites the dust...

She's 5 months old today. The months are flying by. For some reason, I am faithful at recording her life here on my blog, but not at all in her baby book. I'll have to copy all the info into her book soon. Maybe one Saturday when I'm sitting around sipping mint juleps and eating bon-bons. haha

#3 has filled our house with new sounds and moves this month. She has started to babble, lots of dadada, nanana and some mamas, too. She also screams occasionally. She began to notice and protest when I leave, but then her love for attention pacifies her. She discovered rice cereal and likes it. She began to play in her excersaucer. She can hold up her hands and stare at them, twisting them back and forth, for a good five to ten minutes. She became impossible to put in our lap at the table or computer because she grabs and throws everything. She decided to sleep 9 hour stretches some nights, and wake up twice others. But she has become a great napper- two 2-3 hour naps a day. She figured out how to roll the other way, but often still gets "stuck" on her tummy. She got off of Zantac, shows no signs of relux and now I can eat dairy again. Her wardrobe has finally ventured away from pink, but it is still our favorite. Still no bottles or passies!

Valentine's day

My Valentine's day was a little different this year. Due to the financial struggles of my man having a new company, we decided not to celebrate this year. I can honestly say, by God's grace, that my love tank is completely full and I had no need to have a special day with him. So we exchanged cards and had some time alone after the kids went to bed and that was that.

I had plans to light red candles for breakfast before school and have heart shaped cinnamon toast. It never happened. I did slip a home-made valentine in their snack bags with a Reese's cup. Point is, by the end of the day I just kept reassuring myself, "There's always next year." I had chalked this year's celebration to being meaningless. Then at bed time my mood changed...

My man was gone to help with the youth at church. I was attempting to get all of my little ones to sleep. #1 was reading #2 a story on the floor in #3's room while I nursed her. He suddenly said ,"Oh, Mama, I want to give you something for Valentine's day." He went and got a dollar from his bank. "Here, Mama just for you. I love you." As he handed it to me he kissed #3 on the head and said, "And you're my sweetest lil' Valentine!" I could feel a tear trickling down. I knew that his dollars are so precious to him because he is saving for our trip to Disney. I said, "Here honey take this back. It's your Disney money!" He said, "You can spend it in Disney, Mama." Thank you, Jesus, for that moment of selflessness! Then a funny moment came next when #2 walked up behind him and kissed me on the cheek and said, "Dat's all I got, Mommy."

To celebrate Valentine's day at school the kids exchanged cards and candy, but they also participated in a service project. They put together vday bags for the local homeless shelter. There are currently 14 kids sleeping there, the exact # of kids in #1's class. So each child got to make one special gift. They talked about the story of the Good Samaritan and watched a video explaining homelessness. I can't imagine a more beautiful lesson of love for my tender-hearted 6 year old. I wish you could have heard him pour out is heart last night for the children that he had served. It was one of those moments, which are more common than not, when I was so thankful to not be homeschooling. (But I am cheering on all of you who continue to serve your children in that way!)

Despite my neglegence, this was my very favorite Valentine's day with the kids. God is so gracious. He is really working on the hearts of our family to give us a love for others outside of our own little family. I hope he will continue to squish our selfishness and replace it with His love.

Awkward mom moments

Today #1 went home with a friend after school. This little boy played on his t-ball team last year so we have known his parents for a while. When he saw that #1 was going to join his kindergarten class in January they became best buds instantly. I was so thrilled that he invited my little guy over because it is a BIG deal to get invited over after school. You get to sit in the carpool line together and walk out together and all of your friends know that you are the special friend who got the big invite. Anyway, #1 has hoped to be the "chosen one" since the first week of school.

So when his mom called last week to invite him, we had friends over. I immediately said yes and thank you and that I would call her later for directions and details. It just so happens that #2 and her daughter go to the same preschool. So I saw her yesterday and we agreed that the playdate was still on for today and I would pick him up at 3:30. We were all settled.

So last night when I got up to feed #3 I realized that this playdate was a brand new experience for us. Neither of my kids have been dropped off for a playdate, or a birthday party for that matter, with adults that we don't know really intimately. I began to wonder if I had really thought this all through! As I prayed about it I really felt a peace about this particular family, but I decided that we needed "ground rules". I came up with four of them: 1. He can't play computer away from home. (pop ups and crazy websites are too much of a risk) 2. He needs to stick to G movies. (We have made a lot of exceptions, but it's just easier to have this generic rule.) 3. He got a bb gun for Christmas and is learning gun safety with his Dad's supervision. So if there are any firearms in the house he will have a false sense of security and they should be put away. 4. There needs to be no po*nography in the house.

Yep, #4 is a little uncomfortable to discuss with someone that I don't know well. But as I was praying, I began to ask myself what he could discover at a friend's house that would have irreversable harm. Loaded guns and por*ography were the two things that kept coming to mind. I spent the better part of the morning praying for the words to call and discuss my "rules". When I finally made the call, the other mom was of course gracious and reassuring. The play date turned out to be so much fun for the kids. And I was glad that I had set the rules and discussed them with her because next time it would be easier if we are in this situation again and because now this mom knows that our home is a safe place for her child.

Even though #1 goes to a Christian school and the parents have had a background check, have been extensively interviewed and have professed faith in Christ there are certainly no guarantees that every home is safe. I vividly remember seeing pornography and a loaded gun in the home of a girl who went to the same Christian elementary school. I felt a total peace about him going after our conversation. I knew I had done what God was asking me to do as his Mom and from there I had to trust Him to protect him and go with him. But man, being a parent is hard sometimes! Does any one have any other advice or guidelines that you have used in similar situations?

New Discoveries

#3 loved cereal from the first bite! She would squeal and then open wide! All the "firsts" we get to experience with our little ones. Such treasures!

She's finally able to sit well enough to play with some new toys. Look at those little dimpled knuckles! This toy has brought her many laughs this week!

Filthy rags

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Matthew 5:8

This morning I read the Beatitudes. I have always been so interested in these special words that Jesus preached. Some of them have baffled me over the years. For example, what exactly is the "pure in heart"? Well, I think I have an idea. I believe the pure in heart are those who obey God simply because they love Him and for His name's sake.

I began to think of how little I really do that! I do that sometimes when the consequences are big. But day to day, do I really? I mean, my husband thinks I'm so sweet and gracious but really most times I am just selfish. I am sweet to him because I want him to love and adore me and think I'm sweet! Often times it has nothing to do with my love for Jesus or for him! It is more about my reputation or my need for praise. And with parenting, often times I just want my kids to turn out well. Sometimes my effort has nothing to do with them loving Jesus or furthering his kingdom, but I just want to look like a good mom or escape embarassment! Of course there is nothing wrong with not being embarassed, my kids turning out well, or being sweet. But my motives are all wrong, quite often.

The thing about being "pure in heart" is you can't muster it up. I am a do-er and a perfectionist. Give me a point scale on Weight Watchers and I will follow it and lose weight. Give me a housework agenda and I will follow it and have a clean house. Give me "100 Easy Lessons..." and my child will be reading in 100 days. I am a fix it kind of person with a lot of will power. But grace towards others and love for Jesus are only found through prayer and time in His Word. That's it. It is not a matter of will, but a matter purely of the heart.

So this morning, I sat at the foot of His throne and asked for His grace and mercy. I begged His forgiveness for my selfishness and asked Him for understanding, wisdom and "pureness of heart". I basked in His love. My friend gave me an analogy straight from Scripture that I loved and used this morning. We tend to want to stand before God in our own righteousness. The problem is, we are naked and filthy in ourselves. But through the blood of Jesus, we are presented before God with a robe of righteousness. (See Galatians) Even in our sin, he wraps it tightly around us. It is warm and smells fresh and looks clean. Knowing what Christ has done for me, reminding myself daily, talking to Him and reading His Word is what leads to being "pure in heart". That is my heart's true desire! And I am so very, very thankful that I have His robe to stand in and not my own filth!

Boys' space room

Here's the space room. I can not take credit for the idea. I got the paint colors and the idea to have the space ship on the wall from a magazine. The boys have really enjoyed it!

Lots of finished projects...yeah!!

I've been on a kick around here lately. Here are some of my home projects that I've completed since Christmas. Last night I stayed up until 4:15 painting the dining room. I hosted a church-wide playgroup here and became obsessed with wanting this room to look nice. So I painted and cleaned all night! I got one hour of sleep until #3 woke up hungry! Oh well, serves me right! It's hard to tell the colors. The top is a dark orange-red and the bottom is a brown-tan. It looks olive, but it's not.


Above is my new kitchen color. I posted in December about the brown that I didn't like. I forgot to post the final color. Again, hard to tell color exactly, but I am happy with it now!

Here's my lime green bookshelf. It used to be moss green and red and in the boys' camping room.

Now the boys have a space room. The walls used to be solid cream and I've been promising them a space room since August when we moved in. Saturday I stayed up until 2 am completing this project. I'll post that room tomorrow.

In February I have two goals: touch up the paint in #3's room, spackle a few nail holes in the family room and get a few more things hung on the wall. I'll post pictures then! (yahoo, a break from painting!)

MEAN OLE DENTIST!

The other day my poor little #1 had to get ANOTHER cavity filled. Apparently he inherited "bad teeth" because this is his 5th or 6th cavity, I've lost count. So he is nervous, after all he knows very well what is coming. I coaxed my husband into watching #2 and took #3 with me. I had her comfortably in the Baby Bjorn and I was ready to hold his hand and give him lots of encouragement.

He is all geared up for bravery and in comes the dentist. He does okay with the shot, although it was the type of area where you have to get the shot in the cheek and the roof of the mouth. Ouch! But when #3 saw the first tear trickle down his cheek, it was like she just knew he was in pain. My easy-going baby began to wail! I had to pry my hand out of #1's and quickly take her out of the carrier and hold her.

Soon #1's tooth was numb and the dentist came back. She proceeded to put the craziest contraption in his mouth. It was the silver ring around the tooth, with a wooden wedge between that tooth and the next and a "parachute" (or big green plastic tent with floss hanging out) over his entire face, in addition to the "happy gas" mask. He began to whimper and reached up and gave the floss a good tug. Honestly, he was not trying to be defiant, I think he just wanted to feel or see what the heck all that stuff was hanging out of his mouth! Anyway, it was no less than evil to the dentist! She proceeded to lecture him for the next 10 minutes on how his actions wasted her time. Then she spoke in a flight attendant, monotonous voice barking her instructions like she had memorized them out of a book and threats (which included wearing a suit to hold down his hands!). She had a look of pure hatred and disgust. I was stunned at first. He was terrified and followed her instructions to keep his hands in his pockets the rest of the time. His poor little feet were dancing around though! And tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't dare make a noise!

After a few minutes I woke up out of my shock and started to let her have it! I remember saying things like, "Why exactly have you chosen children's dentistry?" "Are you trained to work with children?" "Do NOT lecture him another minute on being scared. He gets what you are saying. He wasted 2 minutes of your precious time. LET IT GO!" And I remember telling her that I had been a dental assistant several summers during college and even grown adults get nervous and upset. I also gave her some of the dirtiest glares and looks I could muster. I know I was not exactly gracious, and Lord knows my thought were hateful towards her. But what in the world are people like her doing working with children?

The saddest/sweetest moment was when she pulled everything out of his mouth and he said in a joyful, loud voice, "THANK YOU, JESUS!"

My daughter

Today was soak up the baby day. Most all days are like that for my guys and me. But today for some reason I was particularly thankful.

The smell of her sweet breath, her little heart-shaped lips, her little pudgy hands grabbing my shoulder, her big blue eyes sparkling and looking up at me when I nursed her, her soft coos, the look of pure innocence in her eyes when she smiles, her determination to soak up the world around her, did I mention her smile? I know she had her Daddy wrapped around her little finger from the moment he saw her on the ultrasound. But honestly, we are all so taken with her. What a sweet little soul I can call Daughter!

Second attempt at pictures

Do you remember this post about the horrors of getting the kids picture taken? Well, I'm crazy enough to try again. Tomorrow at 11 is the hour of doom. We are going to try a new place this time, our tried and true favorites. I like to use the bribery technique on the boys since we have to go in the mall. It sounds something like this, "A round of chocolate chip cookies and Burger King for boys with big, bright smiles!!" And then when we are on the 60th shot and they are beginning to climb all over everything and wrestle right there under the spotlight, "I see some boys who are not earning the carousel!" It's shameless, but so effective!

I thought and thought of what I wanted the kids to wear. I decided that winter clothes just aren't as flattering on my kids. They are all very fair skinned and blacks and maroons and navies just wash them out. So the boys are wearing light blue, short sleeved polos and #3 is wearing a short sleeved pink dress with flowers and leggings to match. The dress is a funky shade, that pink that looks purple-y (I think it's called orchid) and there is a lot of orange in the flowers and leggings. You can look at it here. We didn't buy the flip-flops. Any way, so we are looking about as spring-ish as possible, oh well. I am just hoping for smiles all around. After all, these photo sessions are not cheap! Not including our December disaster, my kids have not had their pictures made since Christmas of '05. We only go once a year...so much pressure! Come on people, work your magic!!

Getting in shape

I blogged the other day about losing weight. It's official, I joined Weight Watchers. I am trying to think of it as being more healthy and not a d-i-e-t! Any way, they have a special program for nursing moms. Surely I can stick to 1800 calories a day, 500 more than the other d-i-e-t-e-r-s! I also decided to go to Target and invest in a new workout video. My 2 videos are very "80s" and I needed an update. I bough this video and I LOVE it! I took ballet from age 3-15 and danced with a small ballet company from 12-14. You would never know it by my current shape and lack of flexibility, but it's true! So this workout is a dream for me. Even if you have never taken dance I highly recommend it. It works a number on the abs, bottom, back and legs. And I can also tell I am more aware of posture. I am actually looking forward to working out. I hope to lose 25-30 pounds by the time swim suit season is here!

#1 asks about S*X

My #1, he's a talker. Seems like there's a kid like him in every family. I was the one in my family, and I guess he got the gene from me. He just loves to talk. We had his IQ tested a couple of years ago and his vocabulary was in the genius range. Hillarious. And as I have mentioned, he loves to read. Well, today at church we got a special flyer entitled, "S*x and the gospel". Apparently, our pastor has felt lead to teach a two night seminar on topics such as p*rnography, hom*sexuality, and how the gospel describes biblical se*uality. I am thrilled because I think this topic is quite often swept under the rug and many people suffer as a consequence of humiliation and ignorance. Anyway,#1 saw the pamphlet and read it out loud and said, "S*x and the gospel? I thought you said you didn't like s*x!" My husband spewed his drink all over the car and was hurting he was laughing so hard. I almost said, "You are definitely mistaken...I love s*x!" :) But instead, I said, "Do you even know what s*x is? And who told you that I didn't like it?" He reminded me of the time we were watching TBS and we saw an ad for S*x and the City and I dodged his question of "What is s*x?" by saying, "I really don't like that show. Let's change the channel so we won't see that ad again." This kid never forgets a thing!

So here we are, my son doesn't think I like s*x and wants to know exactly "WHAT IS IT?" His Daddy and I are at a loss for words. Then my husband says, "It is something really good that God created for a man and a woman who are married. You are too young to know all about it. But in 5 or 6 years we will be talking about it a lot. You'll learn plenty about it then." He seemed to be okay with that answer.

Another funny #1 quote was tonight when I came into our room only to find three fruit chews wrappers scattered on my bed. I turned to him and reminded him that my bed was not a trash can. As he picked up the wrappers to throw them away he said, "I know Momma. Sorry, I'm just a guy, I guess." He may not know the meaning of s*x, but he can appropriately define the meaning of "a guy"! :)

Precious moments

After two weeks in school, we have had many great experiences, some of which I blogged about last week. But last night I shared my favorite memory, so far, with #1 regarding school. My man was at church leading youth group and I had my three sweeties alone. #3 was asleep and the boys were tucked in their bunk beds. #1 volunteered to pray first. I attribute what he said to school because I could tell by the wording that he was quoting an adult, and I feel quite certain it was his sweet teacher. Here is what he said,

"Dear Jesus, Thank you for your Word that is living and true. I mean, every word in your Bible is a true story! Thank you that I can trust that. Thank you for being a good God."

And then today, I said, "I thank my God for giving you to me. Sometimes it's too good to belief that He picked you out to be my son!!" This is not the first time he has heard this statement, I think it all the time! He usually just giggles and hugs me. But today he said, "And I can't believe I got the best Mommy!"

Milestones

She'll be 4 months old on Saturday. This has been a big month for her! #3 has cut her first 2 teeth...no more gummy smiles! She has discovered her toes & sucks them on occassion. She has learned to roll over from back to tummy. She has found her cackling, belly laugh. She has decided that she prefers to stand in our laps rather than sit. She has learned that when she hears herself and "cute" in the same sentence, she gets a great response if she opens her mouth wide and smiles. She has completely rejected bottled breatmilk, and only wants the real thing. She has developed an extra leg roll on each thigh. She's moved up to a size 2 in shoes and diapers. She has learned to reach out and grab everything, including hair. She flew in her first airplane and saw her first snow. She won the battle over the pacifier and won't come near it without gagging. She sleeps for a 7-8 hour stretch most nights. She is...strong, beautiful, a joy.

Star student

After dinner we all got our popcorn, built a fire, and watched a home-made video. #1 was chosen as "Star Student" for this week. He took in his favorite items, photos, and drew pictures all describing himself. We were invited to his presentation this morning, but I had to be at #2's school. I was sad to miss something that was so special. So his Daddy went, taped it, and we had a "movie party" and made a big deal out of it. He was so cute! The themes of his talk were: reading, star wars, hiking, his future as an astronaut and his family.

Peace

We may have found a cure to little Miss I-Hate-the-Car girl. (See my previous poop post for reference!) My man just happened to turn the public radio station on when he was driving the kids home from dinner Thursday night. (Where was I? In his car, taking a break from the afformentinoed little Miss...) I don't feel the love for public radio, but he does. I am so glad, because it just so happened that jazz was on. Soft jazz. And she fell in love.

I LOVE JAZZ!!! I haven't heard a peep from her in the car for three solid days. Three days, ya'll! So I bought the "Relaxing Jazz"cd from Target. Do your kids love to stop at that cd stand where you can here samples by pressing the pictures? My kids love that and my little #1 was the one who mentioned that we could purchase jazz there. She has been quiet as a mouse ever since. It's bizzare to look in the rear view mirror and see her in her baby mirror just looking around contently. Wow, she has a mind of her own!

Awesome faith

After my pity party, I read this blog entry. This precious family gave birth to a beautiful, healthy boy in July. By August he began a series of symptoms that ultimately lead to his death this morning. The family has no idea what lead to his illness. PLEASE read this entry. It is short, but is the strongest testimony of faith that I have ever read about. It puts Elisabeth Elliot, Billy Graham, whoever to shame!

Of course I am now very saddened and convicted by the state of my own heart. I am sad about a precious, healthy baby who cries in the car and not getting to paint my dining room? Give me a break, what a sign of an ungrateful, selfish sinner! This family's story has shown me what a waste sulking and whining can be! It takes so much energy and forethought and time away from living a life of worship and praise and fulfillment and joy. I am so indebted to Noah and his story and his mommy and daddy and their willingness to pour out their hearts in the midst of a seemingly horrendous situation. Pray for them today!

Poop

Today was not the best day. #3 pooped in my lap when I was nursing her this morning, and it became quite symbolic of the rest of the day. It seemed that all day I was being pooped on! I'll share a few of my struggles and ask for prayer and hopefully encourage someone out there that feels like she is the only one struggling today!

-My precious, amazing, beautiful baby whom I adore is a PAIN in the rear in the car! If you've never had a baby who didn't like the car you will shrug this off as no big deal. I know, because until September 21st I was that person. Now I know that a crying baby in the car can be absolutely nerve wrenching! And now we've joined the land of carpools and several trips a day to school. (Sidenote: She is also my only baby that will not take a pacifier. The rejection of the pacifier and the hatred for the car are not good combinations!) I am about to resort to the little tv attached to the headrest with Baby Einstein blaring everywhere we go!

-My little boy has the nastiest green funk cold I have ever seen. He missed two of his first three days of school this week. He missed his first show and tell today, which was heartbreaking. We just got new insurance for the new year and it is so crappy that we have to pray and resort to every last option before we go in for sick visits. Unless there is a catastrophe, we will be paying cash for all visits due to our extremely high deductable. I am about to pull out some of my Nana's home remedies...have you ever had a mecuracrome rub on the back of your throat, vics spread all over your chest or honey and rum cough syrup?

-My brother called tonight and shared some very disturbing news about a family member. Can't say much about that, but I'll be on my knees begging for God's mercy in her life. Things are really bad with that situation. Total poop. (This situation is the crux of why I am feeling down, and consequently all these other silly things are feeling much bigger that they are!)

-Still exhausted from our trip. Trying to catch up on laundry, get used to carpools, and take care of my sick little guy has been a lot. Stopped at a bench in Walmart to nurse the baby during our trip to get groceries. (After four days of fast food I figured it was about time to shop!) Anyway, when I sat down I was so tired I didn't think I could get up and make it to the car! Isn't that pathetic!! There are at least 10 house projects on my list of things I want to do around here while the kids are in school and I really hope to get caught up, have healthy kids, and be able to do these projects that are so fun for me. I have bought all of the stuff to create this awesome space room for the boys' bedrooms, I have beautiful paint for the dining room, I have some cool accessories to hang in the kitchen, etc. I can't wait to get to all of these fun projects!!

- I have GOT to get on a diet! The post partum pounds are not coming off without a little work. Yuck! I have a spare tire around the middle that is very disturbing.

That's it. I'm done with my pitty party. If you've read this far, thanks for letting my vent!

We abandoned ship...

and enrolled the boys in school. I know shock, dismay, disbelief!!! If you have read my blog in the past, you know that we all thoroughly enjoyed our homeschooling. I love to teach, spend lots of time with my kids, share each milestone and enjoy the wonderful city we live in with lots of field trips. In spite of all of the excellent benefits to homeschooling, we started to have doubts that it was the right thing for our family around Thanksgiving. We noticed that our boys blossomed over our Tgiving holiday break with family. They have a lot of cousins with whom they played a lot with and spent the night with. When we came back to our routine of homeschooling, taking care of little #3, and my constant struggle of the kids being around other children enough, we noticed #1 got quite depressed. He cried three nights in a row because he missed being around children. I prayed about it and realized that I could educate him well, I could train him in manners, character and good habits well, but since #3's birth I really stink at making sure we have enough interaction with people outside of our home. As I prayed about it, I realized I was giving 100% and it was just not the very best for #1. Some nights I was staying up until midnight and later to make sure I was ready for homeschooling and the housework was done. I felt like I was swimming as hard as I could with 100 pounds of bricks in my hands, and barely staying afloat.

So I prayed about my son's needs, my gifts and what was best also for my husband and two other children. We decided pretty quickly after that to send him to school. We are VERY blessed to have a small, amazing Christian school as a wonderful option. At least half of the teachers and students go to our church. The principal went on a mission trip with us last year. So we are very comfortable with trusting these precious people to walk along side of us and partner with us in educating our little guy.

This week has been incredible. Our little boy is on cloud nine and each night asks, "Can we do it all again tomorrow?" He has already found a very polite little buddy that he's really bonded with. He invited him to come with us in October to Disney World. :) The principal saw them together and said, "Would you believe that I just knew he and #1 would hit it off? The teacher and I prayed that they would develop a friendship." That of course made me cry. She was praying for a specific friendship for my little sweetie, how precious! And the teacher is a gem. Her love for the kids beams out of her. I have already seen her correct #1 with such dignity and gentleness. (She corrected him when he answered her with "Yeah." She said, "Sweetie, I think it sounds more respectful for children to say yes or yes ma'm to a teacher or adult. Could you do that for me instead?" I was so thrilled that manners and character are top on her list of priorities. The staff is truly there to point these little children to Jesus! I could go on and on with examples just from this week.

Then as another confirmation, we ran into this little girl from his class and her dad. They looked like they had seen a ghost when we came around the corner at Chick-Fil-A and saw them at their table. The dad proceeded to tell me that they had just bowed their heads to pray for lunch. The little girl had told them about "the new kid" and they had asked her several times to be super sweet to him and make sure he felt at home. So it just so happens that right then they were praying for my little boy...and when they opened his eyes, there we were! He called his wife and she drove over to Chick-Fil-A and we all spent over 2 hours getting to know one another.

I could go on and on. A complete stranger called and offered uniform shirts to loan us until ours are ordered. We had three moms walk their kids in to school on Monday just to greet #1 and I. Etc, etc,etc.

Point is, I feel so blessed. I can't go downstairs yet into our homeschool room because I'm afraid I will sob. But I know we are in His will, and it's exciting.

Random joy

It is 1 am and I am awake and so incredibly filled up with love for Jesus and my family right now. I feel consumed with blessings. Thank you Jesus for these four very special people that I get to share life with!

"In the morning, O Lord, I hear your voice. In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Proverbs ?

Our airport fiasco

So , more about our crazy trip home! We get up on Saturday before the crack of dawn to pack and go to the little Jackson Hole airport. We were in a mad rush and even with sporadic nursing we made it to the airport an hour and a half before the flight was scheduled to take off. It was snowing heavily and foggy. I had a bad feeling that morning that flying would be iffy. Anyway, we get in line to get our boarding passes and hear the rumor floating down the line that something was up with our flight. After a few minutes it was announced that the flight had been cancelled. Not delayed...CANCELLED!

We proceed to juggle the children (we were with my extended family, 14 adults and 11 children!) and stand in line for two hours to get our flight rescheduled. My husband finally approached me with the verdict...We were scheduled to fly to Salt Lake City and spend the night. Then the next morning we would fly to Dallas and have a 4 HOUR lay-over and then fly to Atlanta! Ugg...didn't sound great with an infant and two active boys, but we were determined to get home. (Apparently not all of my family felt that way. 8 of the adults and half the kids stayed behind, even though they were told that they would be stuck in Jackson Hole until Wednesday!) So any way, we were booked for the Salt Lake City flight, but the plane was scheduled for 1:20. We thought, no big deal we will eat lunch, look at the gift shop, enjoy the snow for a few more hours, we were sure the time would fly by. It turns out that the flight was delayed due to the BLIZZARD that was coming through the town. We finally got on the airplane and then this huge wind storm came. We sat on the run way for a solid hour waiting for the wind to die down. We were in a tiny 20 passenger plane. I hate to fly, I was sweating bullets!

When we finally took off it was the roughest flight I have ever experienced. The plane was swooping back and forth like a pendulum and it would go forward and then drop so hard from turbulence that we would literally come off of our seats. At one point I broke down and started to tremble and cry. Meanwhile, my husband looked green like he was fighting the urge to vomit. Our sweet baby was content as usual with her little head on my shoulder. And my favorite of all responses were the boys'...they were hooting and screaming with glee. They later commented that the airplane ride was better than a roller coaster.

I have never been so glad to put my two feet on the ground as I was 45 minutes later when we were walking through the Salt Lake City airport! After 1 1/2 hours of haggling with the customer service rep for free accomodations, we headed for the hotel with vouchers for a free night stay and free meals for the next day. I will add that we had to wait 1 hour in front of the airport for the shuttle to take us to our hotel. Once we got there we realized that it was 10 pm (midnight on our normal time zone) and we had not had dinner. We ordered room service and went to bed. We all slept so well, even #3 slept 9 hours without making a peep!

The next morning we headed to the airport early. It was Sunday and the airport was a mad house! We received good news that we could get a direct flight to Atlanta without the lay-over in Dallas! I thought, "Yeah! We will get home and go to bed early!" On the flight I sat by the most interesting man. #3 was enamored with him, as she is with most men. (Scary, I know!) I am not lying when I describe this sweet character...he was a true cowboy. He had maybe 6 teeth in his entire mouth, a strong smell of dust and rawhide, a big black hat with elk teeth and other various trinkets dangling from the rope that he tied along the brim, and a handle bar mustache. He was a sweet man. But you can imagine how nervous and reluctant I was to sit by him knowing that I would be nursing #3 at least twice during our flight! It turned out to be no big deal. He was easy to talk to, so sweet and friendly, and he didn't even acknowledge the nursing! Any way, long story short, we arrived back in Atlanta before 5 pm but all 8 of our pieces of luggage were lost! We spent the next 3-4 hours looking through this long room full of lost luggage...and ofcourse 7 of the 8 pieces were black, the most common color for luggage! I found 7 of our lost suitcases and we tracked down the last piece as being on the wrong flight. We left very happy to have almost all of our things and at least have our children's car seats for our ride home! (Sidenote: I am most impressed! The airport already delivered that lost suitcase. They had it here by 5 pm on Monday!)

My husband took the boys and said to load up the luggage and he would meet me out front with our car. Thankfully it remained unharmed after a week of sitting in the not-so-safe airport parking lot. But as he pulled up, a monsoon-type rain storm came. We were both SOAKED to the bone! And then as we began to roll away he whispered, "We are almost out of gas...say a prayer." I have to admit, I had a bad feeling about this! But PRAISE THE LORD we made it on fumes to a gas station. It was now 8 pm and again we remembered that our children had not eaten since lunch! We pulled into McDonald's and rode home slowly, I was praying fervently all the way home. It was not until we pulled into the driveway safely that I could breathe deeply again and boy did I praise God for getting us there in one piece.

So that's my story of our 36 hour trip home from Jackson Hole. I wonder if we could have driven home in a similar amount of time! Anybody up for a family vacation with us? I can promise you a little "Griswald family fun" if you hang around us too long!

Winter wonderland

"The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words; there is no voice heard; yet their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world." Psalm 19:1-4

We just returned from 5 days in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. This trip was just a blast for all of us, mainly because we live in the South where snow is hard to come by. My kids have only seen snow once or twice in their lives until now! We enjoyed 2-6 inches of fresh snow each morning, which was magical to us! Snow just seems to breed peacefulness and solitude, I love it!

Thanks to the generosity of my parents, we were able to watch our children enjoy many new things in addition to the beautiful, long snow showers. They also rode snow mobiles, a horse-drawn sleigh, sleds, snow tubes, skis, a snowcoach through Yellowstone where they saw Old Faithful and they observed dog sleds. They saw elk, moose and wolves for the first time. Our condominium was on "the slopes" and brand new. It was so wonderful to not be cooped up in a hotel together, but instead we each had a room of our own. We had daily snow ball fights and there was great shopping. Coffee never tasted so good!

The trip was seemingly perfect until our plane ride home. I'll save that post for another day. What an adventure! As usual, I am in awe of God's handiwork. The Rocky Mountains certainly do proclaim his majesty.

Sweet little bundle

#3 has been such a source of delight for our entire family. I enjoyed so much watching my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and even our little nieces enjoy holding her. She is not the least bit partial to whom she shares her laughs, coos and big smiles. We were out of town for 7 days and never saw her in a bad mood. She is our little social butterfly and just loves people. What a blessing and perfect addition...two loving, adoring precious brothers and one sweet bundle of joy!

All I want for Christmas is...

my two front teeth!

Blogger Tour of Homes

I was in a mad rush to take these poorly made pictures and post this rushed entry. But I did want to mention our favorite books and activities/traditions with the kids before showing my house.

Books:Jacob's gift, Alabaster's Song, Who is coming to our house?, The Tale of Three Trees

Activities:What God Wants for Christmas kit, Adornaments, acting out/using our Playmobil nativity to dramatize the story of Jesus' birth, spending the night after Christmas in sleeping bags under the Christmas tree *Before I tear it all down and kick the tree to the curb! :)

What a fun idea to be able to see everyone's decorations! I've never participated in anything like this on my blog, but here goes! Here is a blurry picture of our tree. We are still hanging in there with a real tree. I'm sure one day we'll surrender to the artificial tree, but not yet!

This is a picture of our mantle. I haven't gotten #3's stocking yet. The Christmas topiaries are one of my favorite decorations in the house.

This is what our dining room table looks like. The placemats are red velvet from Pottery Barn, I am proud to say that I paid $2 a piece for them at a yard sale. The angels are all from my first bridal shower, a Christmas shower given by my sorority sisters. Actually, 90 % of my Christmas decor is from that shower.

This is my only Christmas collection. My husband started collecting the Dickens village for me beginning with our first Christmas together. My kids love to light it up in the dark.

Gotta run! Merry Christmas!

Smoochy poo

Today we walked in the kitchen where #2 was eating Ritz crackers. He noticed Rachael Ray on the back of the box. He was giving the box little peck kisses. He caught us watching him and said,"She's pwetty." I can only imagine what life will be like with him as a teenager. With those blue eyes, his affectionate/"touchy feely" personality and his charm I shudder to think! We've call him our "smoochy-poo" because of the dozens of kisses that he plants on #3. Hopefully girls will begin to intimidate him before long. A mommy can only hope!

A little snip-it from last year

Today I was looking back at my journal from last year. I found this entry which I wrote during the midst of last year's holiday season. Our entire family had the stomach bug and one day later my marriage came under major fire. Any way, here it is. I hope it can encourage someone out there who is bogged down and weary.

December 22, 2005
Choosing joy...that's the theme of the day. Yesterday I was prepared to enter a very negative blog. I was struggling with so many heavy burdens, one of which is another virus creeping through our family. I am weary from sickness.

But I woke up with a fresh perspective. My family's wellbeing relies much on my attitude. "If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy!" This quote is very true under our roof, especially when someone is sick. I definitely set the tone. I have found that when things are particularly yucky and everyone is down, I make or break the day around here. Yesterday I was sulking. I was asking God, "Is it too much to ask for healthy kids?" and "Please...Give me a break!!", etc.

This morning I realized that the here and now, sickness and weariness, this is where God has chosen to put me, and he asks me to be full of joy, hope and love towards Him and my family. If my happiness hinges on my comfort and getting my own way, then I need to realign my heart with God's. He has never promised me physical comfort or my own way. He promises me joy upon joys if I can rely on Him and remind myself of who I am in Him, what He has done for me by saving me, and the blessings he has given me in sharing my journey with my children and husband. Really, His grace is so amazing.

I guess through the cough syrup, vomit, Motrin and countless hours of backrubs and Thomas the Train movies, I have found the meaning of Christmas. The wonder of feeling completely loved and honored among circumstances that are bleak and out of my control. Doesn't God work in mysterious ways? I love him so much! Merry Christmas!

I thought I was feeling kinda icky...

so I went in to the doctor this afternoon, which is very rare for me. I don't like to take medicine and I don't like to waste my time going to the dr. If my hubby is going to babysit, I would rather be shopping alone or grabbing a Starbucks with a friend! Any way, good thing I went. My little aches and pains turned out to be strep throat and a urinary tract infection. The upside is that I spent 5 quiet hours in the bed which was so refreshing, even with the aches and pains. I think I'll go back to bed. Back to my busy, wonderful, hectic full-time mommy job tomorrow!

86 shots

Today was my first attempt at taking the kids to get a professional group portrait. The morning started out pretty smoothly. The kids were all in great moods, the boys got fresh hair cuts, the baby was grinning from ear to ear all morning, her nursing schedule was working out great with the appointment. Then we left the house...

Long story short, we got lost. There is a 20 minute grace period which we did not make. So we sat in the lobby for an hour to be "worked in". I laid my head down and prayed the entire time. We were counting on these pictures as Christmas presents for half of our family! One lady even asked me if I was sick! Thankfully, an hour later I heard our name called. Thank you, Lord! The baby was in a great mood during the photo shoot, but did not crack a smile because the photographer was squeaking toys and dancing like a fool, and she was perplexed. You should have seen me changing all three kids clothes during the middle of the session. Funny thing is that after all of that trouble I hated all of the pictures in the second outfit! My #1 was the most interesting model. He was embarassed of his snaggle tooth. He's only lost one top middle tooth. He was doing the most bizarre smilish crazy faces. The photographer even asked, "What's up with his tongue?" I think he was trying to use his tongue to hide his gap. I never got a decent shot of him.

After the photo shoot, we sat at a computer screen to order the pics. #3 needed to be nursed so I proceeded to breastfeed right there in front of my 20ish year old male photographer. Meanwhile, #1 wiggled persistently and #2 asked me 15 times to help him with his shoe. It turns out that out of 86 shots I only really loved one. And then I don't even have the energy to post the ordeal we went through during the next hour getting the photos. We also had an interesting lunch at Moe's while we waited which consisted of lots of napkins. Blah, blah, blah. I actually heard a women in the phot place whisper to herself, "He is late again! (I'm sure she was referring to her husband.) If she can do it with three kids, I can do it with one.) It was my only moment of pride all day. Maybe the circumstances were nuts, but I did it all by myself. And so what if it took 86 shots to get one good picture of the three of them! And so what if afterwards I felt like I had run a marathon! I'm laughing so hard right now recalling all of the chaos. Life is so funny in retrospect.

My kind of weekend

This weekend I only had 2 of my 3 little birds in the nest. My #1 was inducted into pre-manhood...he had his first hunting trip with his Daddy and Poppy. He hasn't gotten back yet, but Daddy says they had great success. He rode a four wheel ATV for the first time and he spent lots of time in the woods and saw at least four deer and other animals. He learned how to "fart" on command or at the pull of a finger. (Nice) He ate lots of "meat and potatoes". He slept in a sleeping bag beside his Daddy. He had a blast!

Meanwhile, #3 and #3 and Nana and I enjoyed a more feminine weekend here at home. (Poor #2, he was outnumbered 3:1)We went to the mall, ate out and let the house get as messy as we pleased. We enjoyed quiet nights with the Christmas tree lit and a fire in the fireplace while we recooperated from the shopping. My mom (aka Nana) and I had a margarita together at dinner on Saturday and #2 ate pizza and pbj sandwiches all weekend. We were all thrilled.

Today my mom left early this morning. I only had two little ones to get ready for church and my sweetheart was not here to tempt me to sit and drink coffee with him. It was amazing how easy it was to just get two of us ready and out the door! We had to stop at the gas station and still got there early. Then after church #2 and I had a date at Chili's, followed by a trip to Home Depot. We got more paint! Paint for the boys' room and for the dining room. The little week between Christmas and New Years is going to be a painting week in our house! Okay, little #2 is begging me to play trains with him...more later!

Balance

I am so frustrated with myself right now! I have just discovered (or rather God has revealed to me once again) a sin pattern in my life that needs fixing. It's the cycle of the Christian walk I guess, but frustrating none the less. I am an extremist. What I mean is that I find life hard to balance. I have struggled with perfectionism for a long time, well since I can remember. I don't say that light-heartedly like some women do. Many women call themselves perfectionist and what they are really trying to say is that they like to be neat or win games or whatever. When I say that I am a perfectionist I mean that when chaos begins to ensue, I seek order and will go to great lengths to achieve it!

Right now I am feeling that way about housework. I am looking back on this week with regret because I spent so much time trying to create the perfect house. I cleaned up toys multiple times a day, knowing fully well that the boys would create new messes. I just needed a little time to look around and see order. I put the baby in her seat or swing more that she needed to be just so that I could make sure my bed was made, each pillow perfectly fluffed and placed. Deep down I knew no one cared or would see that bed and in addition, my little guys would eventually jump on it and my work would be in vain. I told my sweet little #2 three times this week that I didn't have time to play with him when there could have been time, but I wanted to organize something or get just one more thing done that wasn't really necessary. I am frustrated with myself.

So here I am again, at the foot of the cross, asking my Savior for forgiveness and my children for forgiveness. If there is anything that I want to accomplish in life for the sake of Christ, it is raising children who know the Lord and who know that they have a Mommy who values her time with her family more than anything else in her life. I want them to grow up knowing how precious and unique they are , and the only way that will happen is if I am spending time with them and finding moments to communicate that to them. (Not just at bedtime or mealtime, but during the real life moments when we are living together!) I want them to have balanced memories of Mommy working as a housewife, Mommy playing and laughing and hugging them, and them playing alone or together. If I parented them during their entire childhood like I did this week, then none of these goals would be accomplished! And I doubt they would look back on that type of childhood with joy. I don't think any adult says, "I had the best childhood! My mom blew me off constantly, but the yellow in our kitchen was a beautiful color and our clothes always smelled of lavender!" Sounds ridiculous, but when I prioritize like this it is just that silly!

Lord Jesus, give me balance in my life and help me to let go of the control I want to have. Help me to find order in knowing I am doing your will and not in my own selfish desires. Help me to treasure the beautiful blessings that you have given me in my children.

A few all-nighters

This week has been quite a challenge. My husband has been very sick since Wednesday. I never realized how much I rely on him until he was completely unavailable! Whew, I went to bed EXHAUSTED every night this week! Tuesday, the night before he came down with this awful virus, I got up at 3:30 am to feed #3 and decided to stay up and devote 20 minutes to each room. Somehow the house was out of control, and then we had pulled out Christmas decorations and only half decorated. It took me until 6:30 to catch up and make each room look like I wanted it to. (Keep in mind on the main floor we only have 3 rooms that I could work in...living room, dining room and kitchen!) I thought I would catch a nap the next day or sleep in and let Daddy take over. Then he got sick!!

But now I feel rested and I am ready to do another silly all-nighter. My precious husband painted our kitchen for my birthday present last week. Sadly, I do not like the color. I picked it out, so his feelings aren't hurt. But I am insisting on re-painting it myself because I feel so badly about it! I picked a coffee brown. I thought it would be rich and soothing. I have a Tuscan-type painting with brown, blue and yellows. It turns out the brown doesn't remind me of yummy coffee or fresh bread, but more of poop! Maybe I've changed one too many diapers, but I can't stand it! So I am going to paint it our tried-and-true yellow. It's my favorite shade, "Arizona Tan" by Behr. I love it. It's a bright, warm yellow. Not a butter, but a warm tone. I plan to use the coffee color in our bedroom. And we are also about to paint our dining room a pumpkiny, rust color. I found a great piece of art at Kohl's today for the dining room...49.99!

Why have I chosen to do house projects now?? I just had a birthday and my generous family all caught my hint that "I don't really need any thing...but if you must, I'll take cash for home decor." We moved in this house at the end of July when I was 8 months pregnant and I haven't been able to really make it mine. Well, between my sweetie's family and mine I received over $400! And I thought birthdays were a thing of the past by 30! (I am currently 31 and loving it!) So I am ready to decorate. I have always been one that has no problem putting back savings, but once my spending money is allotted...I spend!

But I will say my timing is foolish, I know it and I can't stop myself! Trying to buy all of the Christmas presents with 3 kids, decorate for Christmas, homeschool, cook and be an at least adequate homemaker has proved to be a big challenge. And then this week I was frantically doing all of this while trying to be a good nurse for my sick patient. I was lysoling and febreezing every time he left the bed or the couch in hopes of not spreading the virus to the rest of the family, particularly the baby. I literally looked like a chicken with my head cut off running around. I don't think at sat down for a single meal for three or four days straight! I was praying so hard for my sweet Savior to give me a fulfilling sense of worship and purpose as I served Him in serving my family. Many tasks were done with just feeling, but I will admit I secretly dropped a few four letter words under my breath as well. I am and always will be a work in progress, this side of heaven at least!