Farewells

Today one of my best friends moved away. Her family lives less than a few miles away and we saw them virtually every day when we homeschooled. My heart is so heavy and sad today. Things will not be the same around here without her. She was the friend that I swapped leftovers with on an "off" cooking night. She was always the last minute life saver for childcare. She let me borrow her jeans. Her children and mine were so close. Her house was one where we didn't knock on the door, we just came right in unannounced. We were pregnant together and our babies are only 5 weeks apart. She was the first person to guess that I was pregnant and pulled the truth out of me when I swore to myself that we would not tell anyone so early! We prayed together and read books together. We swapped advice and encouragment. We took the kids to plays and museums and parks together. We had many girls' nights out together at Mexican restaurants or Starbucks. Our husbands went out every Wednesday night for a beer together and were accountability partners. Our boys were inseparable and endlessly laughed at booger and gas jokes, despite our threats and consequences.

So many bonds, so many special memories! She left with her husband and four kids after four years of raising support to be missionaries in Slovakia. I am so thrilled to see them take the good news of the gospel to a needy country. I know God will be glorified through their efforts...but we are still losing our dear friends, and I am lamenting.

#1 has taken the move the hardest. He has cried more tears than I could count. He is afraid that he will not remember his friends' faces. He says that our house will not be the same and he is ready to move. He awoke at 6:45 this morning, crawled into my bed, turned his face away from me, and began to cry. He said, "I don't want my friends to fly away today."

We went to their house on Monday to say good-bye, but I could not find the words. I felt like maybe I could get through our farewell without a tear until I held their little girl. She is almost 2 years old and such a fiesty, funny, precious little thing. She held out her arms and asked me to take her from her Mama. I held her and she laid her head on my shoulder, stuck her thumb in her mouth, and began to string her little fingers through my hair. She looked up at me and just smiled innocently. I realized that I may not ever get to hold her again. By the time she lives in the States again she will be nearly six years old and not a baby any more. I held her tight and the tears began to pour. I took a little walk around the house with her and just enjoyed the moment. It was so overwhelmingly sad for me!

I know God is going to teach us so much for His glory. I am finding myself not able to take the pain away from my little boy, and rarely do I even feel like I am comforting him. I am learning to continually surrender his little tender heart to the Lord for comfort and strength. And I am learning the same lesson for myself.

"My hope is found in nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholy lean on Jesus' name."