Monday, April 28, 2008

A letter to my son

Dear sweet son,
Today you reminded me again (and again and again) how blessed I am to know you and call you my own. You have one of the sweetest hearts I have ever known. Thank you today for waking up your sister and comforting her so that I could dry my hair. You never cease to put a smile on her face with your presence. I think you might have that gift with babies. I love the way our baby yells, "Ja-see!" when she sees you or your picture. Do you know what a gift your kindness is in her life? (Proverbs 16:24 "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb; sweetness to the soul and health to the body.") I have noticed that despite your bubbly and happy disposition, your thoughtfulness sometimes leads you to have a melancholy mood. Lately, you have been so frustrated with yourself and your little struggles that you have been discouraged. The other night you said in tears, "Mommy, I just feel like the only reason I was created was to make bad choices." You have your Daddy's bent towards seeing your faults and discrediting your gifts. (Your Mommy struggles more with pride than with self-loathing.) It is so hard for you to see yourself as God and I do! You are my little one that will sleep beside our bed on the floor when you have a nightmare because you don't want to interrupt our sleep. Your Daddy did the same thing as a boy. This morning, and every morning that I am diligent in using my time, I will be praying that you would know who you are in Christ. I pray that you will begin to see how precious you are to us and your heavenly Father. I pray that your security and identity will be in His work, unwavering and strong. (Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you...") I am trusting God to use your intellect, compassion and zeal to give you a fulfilling, wonderful life of living with and for Him.

Right now, you seem to identify more with Daddy. You told me just last night, "Mommy, I made mental columns of all of my favorite people. For family, Josh is up at zero 'cause he's my brother. Daddy is #1. And guess what? I made you #2. That's pretty good, Mom." And #2 is good enough for me. I am so glad to see how your Daddy faithfully spends time with you every day and how you adore him for it. You are very blessed to have this relationship, Jaybird. Not only is Daddy fun and willing to do nasty things with you that I won't do, but he is constantly looking for opportunities to point you to Jesus... and you are soaking it up. The questions that you ask amaze us. You want so desperately to serve God well. We have to remind you often of grace, and you are beginning to understand. I was just thinking today as you held the door open for me and picked up the baby, "Wow. Some beautiful, godly lady will be so blessed one day to call you her husband." But I would not dream of saying that to you because you do not care to talk to girls right now. You say they are pretty and they make you nervous, and that's just fine with me. Like I said, you are a smart boy. I am so proud of you, little guy. You are funny, extremely smart and full of compassion. You are an old soul. At seven and a half you have accomplished so much through the power of Jesus. I can only imagine what He has for the rest of your life! Don't waste a day of it!

Pictured above: Jaybird with "#1"

3 comments:

Becoming Me said...

What a precious post to your sweet son. He is blessed to have you as a mama.

madsonfamily@mac.com said...

You are so beautiful!! The words you spoke to him are unbelievably moving and so clearly from a heart that is passionately in love with Jesus and longing for that same depth of love for J-Bird too. Well done, sweet friend.

RHB said...

love it! very sweet! you need to keep a hard copy of this post for him!