I am really frustrated with myself for following her lead with the pacifiers and bottles and giving up with them. I think I listened to one friend in particular that was giving me the La Leche League banter about how pacifiers aren't natural, etc. (Her little girl now takes a pacifier, go figure!) So when she rejected all artificial nipples, I just shrugged it off. Oh wow, if I had only known how we would suffer! Including the times that we went to her room last night to reassure her that she was okay, she cried for two hours. And guess what? I finally gave in and nursed her. The sun was going to come up soon!
So here we are approacing 11 months. I have not gotten an uninterrupted night's sleep for more than a handful of nights at a time. She has never had a bottle. It's no wonder why I can't explain my emotions some days!?! I think I know what I need to do. It's the usual...establish a routine and stick to it, put her down awake (which I already do), keep working at the sippie cup, let her cry. I'm just so tired and overwhelmed with it all that I don't know where to begin. I think she and I will both have an emotional breakdown if I try it all at once. So for those of you that are well-rested and in your right minds, could you help me figure out where to start? And if you have the time, an encouraging verse would be wonderful!
6 comments:
My kids both refused pacifiers and bottles. With HC I had a bad go of fear and forced her to wean. I was afraid something would happen to me and she wouldn't eat. So I weaned her at 5 months. I regret that to the depths of my soul!!
I nursed my son and he too refused ALL bottles and pacifiers but at 13 or 14 months, he self-weaned. A much nicer end to such a precious time.
I've found that my kids responded well to the Nuby sippy cups - they have the REALLY soft nipples. They would take those for water until later they took them with milk.
My daughter uses her blanket and my son uses two burp cloths as his comfort tools. I wish I had a fantastic idea to offer you, but I don't.
Proverbs 11:25 A generous man will prosper, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
I think as you comfort Lydie bug, think of Father God comforting you. Meanwhile, this may be worthy of a fast. I know you are nursing, but what if you fast something other than food. Fast and Pray for God's wisdom in this area. He will show up. He loves you as much as you love Lydie bug! He wants to comfort you too! Take 7 days and seek Him diligently for an idea or a solution. Maybe there is something you are missing and He can reveal it. I am praying for God to reveal the key to this mystery to you! It seems petty to us to ask for these things - but this is where you are. This is a dark moment - feeling it will never end. God cares about what concerns us! Never forget He is always listening. I pray your eyes will be opened to see the solution, I pray your ears will be open to hear the solution, I pray your mind will be open to know the solution and know it soon! In Jesus name!! AMen, and Amen and Amen!
To tell you the truth...I am NOT one to give advice. I feel like I never want to give the wrong advice.
In this situation....you really cannot go wrong....to me. Sleep depervation is a very wicked thing. So I say do what needs to be done so everyone can get some sleep. Feed and comfort Lydia.
Then I can see starting a sleep routine. She is old enough to sleep through the night and can. It is just a matter of going through several crying and sleepless nights to get there. It breaks my heart to hear that for any length of time.
So really, do what is best for you, Lydia and your family. You are the only ones that know. Feel good about your choice and know you are a good momma!!
Sorry so long.
I know my SIL (at sidetrackd) had trouble with her little girl. She wouldn't take a pacifier or a bottle, sippy cup, nothing til about 10 months, but she sleeps really good. Bubbie was the exactly opposite. He didn't want to nurse. He loved bottles, pacifiers, etc.... I have no words of wisdom. All that I can say is that I will definitely pray for you. I remember those sleepless months- almost year with Bubbie and I know my time is coming (end of Dec, early January). Gosh do I remember!
Have you tried the adiri natural nurser bottles yet? They've just been released and might be a solution...
www.adiri.com
We all thrive on routine, from babies to senior citizens. For your sake, your family's sake and for sweet little Lydie bug's sake, follow through on your plan to train her to sleep through the night. You ALL need sleep (especially the mama!)
From those darling pictures, you know she's not starving. Your breastmilk is plenty for her from her feedings throughout the day. Follow the routine that you have for her for bedtime. She's dry, comfortable, tired . . . and just let her cry. Two hours is not unusual for a baby to cry who is used to being picked up and fed in the night. If you follow the same routine every night, she will know (even at her young age) that it's time to go to sleep. Let her cry during the night until the prescribed morning hour that you want her to be up for her first feeding of the day. Each night will be a little less crying because you're not giving in. And, if you're actually timing the time that she cries, you may be surprised at how quickly the crying time is shortened. Don't go into her room at all, don't peak in on her or talk to her or anything. Lights should be completely out. If she is truly in distress, you'll recognize it by her cry. Don't confuse the distressed cry with angry, thwarted, stubborn I'm-going-to-get-my way cries. Be prepared to ignore the most pitiful dramatic cries of all time -- babies can be huge drama queens/kings.
One of the ways I managed to survive these nights of training was to remember that the baby was well cared for and comfortable, that she needed the sleep as much as I did and that crying is good exercise! I was also amazed at how quickly the baby was trained, once I stood firm.
Once the baby was sleeping through the night, not only was I a nicer person but the baby seemed even happier and bubblier than before! What a relief!
On the bottle, I would give my baby one formula bottle a day and breastfeed the rest of the feedings -- Reintroduce her to the bottle at the feeding where she is the most ravenous. For me, it seemed to be at dinner time (the feeding before the very last feeding of the day). It was also a time when Daddy could feed the baby instead of me, and I could work on dinner. When she doesn't take the bottle, don't give her the breast as her option because she'll pick it every time! If she's truly hungry, she'll take the bottle. It will be harder for her because the bottle comes out faster and (if it's formula) won't settle as well in her tummy. She won't like it nearly as much as the good stuff, but when there are no other options, she will take it.
The reasons for training a baby to take the bottle are many, but for me the two main ones were:
1) DATE NIGHT! My husband and I could go out for more than a couple of hours at a time. The sitter could take care of one feeding.
2) In case of emergency. If anything should happen to me for even a few short hours, than I was assured that the baby would be fed.
Sorry this is so long, but had to put in my two cents! Keep up the good work! I can see from your thoughtful posts that you're a great mother!
I had this same situation with SA and I remember the exhaustion! SA weaned slowly and never slept through the night until she was weaned. She wasn't completely weaned until 14 months so for a long time I just got up in the night, fed her and went back to sleep. We tried having D comfort her in the night- that didn't really work. I read a book called The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and she suggested a "dream feed"- basically after you put her to bed and before you go to bed- just go in and nurse her to top her off. This worked great for a while with SA. She would sleep longer before I had to go in again- usually if I did the dream feed around 10 or 11, she could make it until 5 am. Finally (when I had had enough and really felt like I couldn't handle the sleep deprivation much longer), I tried to just go in and hold her,not feed her, but try to give her water. This was during the weaning period also (i.e. she was taking water from a cup- Tommie Tippie worked for her- it's supposed to be a cross between a nipple and a sippy cup. I would try to give her water because I knew that she was just waking up from habit and didn't really need to be fed. Once she realized that she wasn't getting milk in the night, she didn't wake up for it anymore. I think I had to send D in to give her water once or twice, but really this transition didn't take too long (a few nights). I couldn't bear to let her cry at night without feeding her, so these are the things that worked for us. I will be praying for you as you make this transition with Lydie. I know that the Lord will lead you in how to handle this transition in the way that is best for you and her and your family. Trust what feels like "instinct" I think this is how the Holy Spirit leads us mothers sometimes, and remember that this season and transition won't last forever.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Prov. 3:5-6
Love you!
Rach
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