Pursuing good habits

I am very excited to begin a new week this week! God has graciously, gently revealed some of my weaknesses as a parent, particularly with my little Toot. He is a quiet dreamer. Because of his personality traits and his charm, his behavior and habits seem to slip under the cracks. But thankfully, another adult (his art teacher) brought some areas of concern to my attention that needed desperate attention.

Here are some helpful changes we will make with Toot this week:

~No more video games except for one night a week. Even with a restricted 30 minutes a day, my little mechanical, mathematical minded boy is obsessed and revolving his day around "media time". Besides that, sometimes I cheat and give him extra time which is not being a good steward of these moments that make up his zooming childhood.

~Toot will not do history and science with his brother any more. He is in kindergarten! He should be making sock puppets, or cutting out snowmen, or baking cookies with me NOT learning about Hammurabi's Code and the endocrine system. I will use Five In a Row picture books with him to draw out lessons on geography, science and history as they arise. I have no goals for him in these subjects, except only to enjoy good books with him and have time together to cuddle, talk and learn.

~Maybe some people would argue that if he can understand Hammurabi's Code, why not teach it to him? I believe what Charlotte Mason says about giving your child exactly what you know they can do- and requiring them to do it well. I know Toot can listen to "A Snowy Day" and then bake snowman cookies with me. But I am not sure if he has the vocabulary, attention span, or worldview to learn about Hammurabi's Code. So if I am reading a book on such a subject and he wanders off to play, I would normally just ignore him with the justification that he is still young. But in reality, I believe I am teaching him to wander off and not focus to instruction when he loses interest. If I use "age-appropriate" material, I can hold him accountable for his entire focus, attention, and his best work without letting him dictate his own habits.

~Toot needs more practical consequences for "forgetting" habits that we have set in place. For example, if he leaves the table without putting away his dirty dishes, pushing in his chair, or showing gratitude, he needs a consequence and not just a verbal reminder. I have been cuing him verbally way too long! Now, he will have to return to his seat for a few quiet minutes every time he rushes off to play. For things like leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to put his shoes in the basket when he comes inside, he will "practice" these habit 4 or 5 times when he forgets. Over and over, back and forth, training himself (or just tiring himself out). I remembered that "Creative Correction" by Lisa Whelchel has many wonderful, practical ideas for this type of discipline as well. It is a good source for kids that are absent-minded, but not defiant.

~Toot needs time alone with Andy and me. We have got to find a little slot of time to take him out alone. Maybe we can rotate the boys every other week, Lydie is just fine for now. Even an hour away would be great. I can not think of when that will happen, but the Lord always provides so I will start praying.

"We have lost sight of the fact that habit is to life what rails are to transport cars. It follows that lines of habit must be laid down towards given ends and after careful survey, or the joltings and delays of life become unsupportable. More, habit is inevitable. If we fail to ease life by laying down habits of right thinking and right acting, habits of wrong thinking and wrong acting fix themselves of their own accord."

Charlotte Mason

"The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days. "

Charlotte Mason

Pictured above: My adorable, little Toot. I would walk to the ends of the earth just for a glimpse of that beautiful face!