"God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him."
God has been putting a reoccurring theme in my life lately. And that theme is that I am so very small, and He is so very big. I have been asked to pray for so many people lately who have suffered or are in the midst of great suffering. The husband whose wife shattered the bones and damaged the organs along the entire left side of her body, tip to top, in a car accident. Also, a couple of cases of traumatic brain injury, one to the college student in a car accident and one to the high school student in a golf cart accident. Mom as she continues to recover from surgeries and chemotherapy. The list goes on and on and reminds me of what a blessing good health is and how it should be cherished. And it also reminds me that I am not in control.
As I pray and look ahead to the fall where I will have less influence and time with my children, I feel so small. I realize how many new challenges will be a part of their lives that they have only experienced on a small level. Some include peer pressure, more of an emphasis on grades/performance, etc. Although I feel like we are being called to make this change, and I am so, SO excited, I realize how little I can control. Even in the most conducive atmosphere to godly friendships (wonderful Christian school), I cannot control many things that they will experience in their personal relationships. And the good thing is, I am not called to do the impossible.
I am called to point them to Jesus, but I am not their Savior. I am to teach them that this life is not about them (getting their way, putting themselves first, acquiring stuff, etc.), it is about the glory of God. I am called to fill my speech with His grace, be sorrowful and prayerful over my sin and theirs, point them to God's Word and other means of grace, and pray for them all the time. I can pray for them to repent and turn from their sin, but I am not their Redeemer.
Sometimes I forget my priorities. I think about what they are wearing or involved in as my priority for the day. Do they look nice? Should we go to this camp? Some days I put the temporal ahead of the eternal. Instead of seeing the times that they sin as opportunities to point them to the gospel (both through gentle mentorship and firm consequences), I feel angry with them instead of compassionate and sad. I cannot control their hearts. They are sinners, just like their Mama. We are in this journey of sanctification together, and it is a serious, daily battle. I am so little, He is so big. I have so little control.
But the more time I spend with Jesus, the more I realize how comforting it is. I am little and there are many things that I really want to turn out a certain way. But He is in control of the universe! And He is glorious, all-knowing, and wise. He knows the number of hairs on our heads, every detail of our hearts and minds. And we are created for Him, for His glory, not our own. It is so freeing to just let go and trust a Big God. And it is nice to know that when I fret again, He will still be merciful and kind to me, His beloved.
Make a joyful noise to the Lord
All the land.
Serve the Lord with gladness.
Come into His presence with singing.
Know that the Lord is God.
It is He who made us and not ourselves.
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him and bless His name.
The Lord is good.
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.