Monday, August 01, 2011

Getting the focus off of myself

"It may be someone's heart and actions of self-centeredness that hurt you, but it's your own self-absorption that keep that hurt alive."

I read about this idea on another blog. It really made me think and feel conviction. I was just speaking with my husband this morning about someone who has hurt me and my most recent tendency to want to stay away from her. My words and actions seem to get misunderstood and twisted around. And even though I am always encouraged to be honest and open, it seems to backfire. I think in this relationship it is wise to distance myself a little. But I am beginning to understand that I might still be hurt because I am focused too much on myself. This attitude is so harmful and unattractive. It clutters up my heart and mind and blinds me from discerning God's will. And, it can lead to bitterness and anger.

I am a little shocked at how easy it is to just let it go and surrender this situation to God. I will probably get hurt again, and I know I will need to be careful with how much of my heart and time I share in this relationship. But Jesus brings freedom and peace. And once I am focused on Him, I am free to love boldly- which might mean putting myself out there or being guarded, depending on the time and place. If I make my goal glorifying Him and not myself, I can take the risk.

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