But you can not undo what's been done. And once moments are wasted (or worse, used poorly) they are gone, not to be retrieved. And it hurts. But by God's grace, love covers over a multitude of sins. It is impossible to taste richly of God's grace and not extend it to those in need. We are all beggars of grace. And for those we are called to be in a relationship with for life and love unconditionally, we turn the other cheek and hold their hand again and move forward, even if with one eye closed and body braced for another emotional blow. I think maybe a step was made today that could really begin to bring healing to our loved one, and us. Praise God.
This morning, after a restless night of fighting the demons that come with this type of relationship, I woke up with a real temptation to not leave the bed. I was whipped. In fact, I spent a significant amount of time fully dressed, under the covers unable to move. No matter what you do to help someone, it never feels like enough. You want so much. And I prayed with a heart that felt like it was ripping out of my chest that this sin pattern would not spread down generational lines. Sometimes prayers for one's children lead to groans and pleadings beyond words. Please, please Lord Jesus. Have mercy! There is nothing I want more in this life than to finish the race well, for God's glory, and to have my husband and children do the same.
My husband and I were so pleased and thankful for the Lord's encouragement later this morning. I believe these words read in Andy's devotion this morning with my whole heart:
"Christ is not alone "mighty to save" those who repent, but he is able to make men repent. He will carry those to heaven who believe; but he is, moreover, mighty to give men new hearts and work faith in them...The life of the believer is a series of miracles wrought by "the Mighty God". The bush burns, but it is not consumed. He is mighty to keep his people holy after he has made them so, and to preserve them in his fear and love until he consummates their spiritual existence in heaven." Charles Spurgeon