Delighting in the Lord

Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad." Psalms 35:27

I have been trying to read through the One Year Bible. I am at the end of February on the assignment chart. :) So, it will probably take two years for me. I am currently reading Leviticus and Mark. I love Leviticus. I know, how many people can say that? It is just so humbling and wonderful to see the laws that Christ fulfilled, the temple curtain torn in two, and the standards met in Christ. I guess that's the beauty of reading Leviticus and Mark simultaneously.

All of this reading has lead me to some heavy thought about our current culture. Our "post-modern" culture, as it is labeled. I have been thinking of the two extremes that are most often found in the church and how a follower of Christ has to walk a fine line or "narrow path" in order not to be found at either extreme. (Although we all are found in error due to our flesh.) The two extremes that I see are legalism and hedonism. Both are so prevalent in the evangelical church!

We all know and have been the legalist. This person is striving for righteousness through his actions. I don't catorgorize myself as a legalist, but I do see that my thoughts are subtly legalistic quite often if I am honest with myself. If I ask myself what motivates me, sometimes/ some days I am motivated by duty or guilt and not by my love/ worship for Jesus.

The other extreme, hedonism would be a word few Christians would use to describe themselves. But I observe this worship of pleasure and comfort in so many modern Christians that are my age! We have such a sense of entitlement that is unbiblical. We feel we are entitled to a house that is a certain size, decorated a certain way. So we either whine or go into debt and justify our actions. This is subtle hedonism, wouldn't you say? We feel our children are entitled to certain luxuries like vacations, meals at restaurants, certain activities and toys, so we spend away a phantom budget that is not there to spend! And then we justify, "If I had a budget it would be too stressful for me." "Other non-Christians will be able to relate to me more in this house or with this ___________." "Everyone else has _________." "But it is so cute and it was on sale!" We are all guilty of these thoughts when we aren't in prayer or the Word. And it leads to such misery!

I say all of this not to judge, notice I used the "we" in each example. I have noticed that as I continually strive to live a life a worship, surrendering the details of my life to Christ, staying in His word and really praying for permission as I let Him have ownership of my life, I see a difference in my joy and in how He uses me. Life becomes more mainstreamed with boundaries and budgets and more disciplines, but it is all a joy because the motivation is seeing my Savior glorified. (Still, I don't choose to honor Christ with my thoughts, actions and words as often as I want to!)

The other week I was having a very rough couple of days lamenting over my sin. I have committed to too much this summer due to a lack of prayer over certain decisions. It is painful when you see your sins and see your family suffering for them! My sweet friend called and asked what was wrong. I was sharing with her my sin, the idols in my heart, and now the pain I was feeling. It's not that I was wallering in guilt, I knew I was forgiven. But I felt sorrowful! And she listened as I told her of my longing to glorify Jesus and my sadness over my sin, but great hope in the Gospel. It was this weird sadness that I had not felt in a while. I see my oldest son feel this way all the time when he is in sin. And I realized that it is healthy and so often we stop ourselves short of these feelings. We are so afraid to hurt our "self-image" or crush our "self-esteem". We justify our sins so often with so many excuses, i.e. our childhood, our plot in life, our personalities, our circumstances. I realized I had missed out on precious time with Christ by "guarding myself". I SHOULD be sad when I disobey the creator of the universe! Not stuck in my guilt, but saddened, for sure. Maybe this feeling and just a general feeling that all of life is an opportunity for worship is part of what we are missing! Maybe these feelings and the lack of reminding ourselves of the Gospel of grace are what keep us from walking the narrow path that offers true happiness!