Monday, May 02, 2011

What I've learned so far

We've been living here on the farm for a couple of months now. I have had highs and lows, both graceful and pitiful moments. But one thing I know for sure, and that is my Savior holds me in the palm of His hand. Here are some reoccurring themes that He has brought to mind since we moved:


Wait on the Lord! (And I thought that once we moved the waiting would be over!) So many ways that I need his guidance as a Mom right now. So many things I am sad about still regarding our move. So many things to do, people who need help, etc. and I need Him to show me what to do.


Do not react to a situation at first glance. Step back and settle in before acting. I thought I knew hard work before. But I was wrong. What EVERYONE told us who has ever lived on a farm is's a But so far, I haven't found anything in the Bible that frowns on working hard. The only exception I have found is working on the Sabbath. You can bet we have found the commandment to rest and keep that day holy one very easy to follow these days!!


My husband loves me. And I pray to God I never have to live a day on this earth without him. Our lives are intertwined in such a way that I find it hard to function well as an individual or a family when he is gone.

Being outside is the best medicine. I have noticed and enjoyed/appreciated His creation during the past couple of months in a way that I never have before. If I feel sad or stressed, it always helps to take the time to breathe fresh air and work with my hands.


I like the depth of community that people enjoy in rural areas. Some people that I know turn their noses up to the people in our community. They make assumptions based on their houses, cars, or what not. But I have seen my neighbors show the love of Christ to one another in a way that I have never been exposed to before. They see the care of their neighbors as a real responsibility, not just an option. It has been an inspiration for me.


Being healthy is such a luxury, a privilege. And having a roof over our heads is as well. Between nearly a dozen illnesses in our own home since we moved, and now the after effects of the tornadoes I feel this truth more than ever.

I have found myself wondering lately if I would feel more happy and fulfilled if I worked outside the home. All the mommy stuff just felt so monotonous and overwhelming. Andy says I have been burned out this year. Maybe he is right. I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost eleven years. And of those 11, I have had one or more children at home with me almost every day. That's a lot of days to take care of kids! But I feel a renewed sense of calling and purpose. And I praise God for it. I couldn't muster it up on my own. I knew all along that this is where I am supposed to be. But it feels good to want and enjoy this good thing.


My daughter and I are so much alike! She has had a lot of free time alone these days. The boys are at school all day. And I have been very occupied with house/farm stuff. I have watched her blossom and seen her personality shine through more than ever. She uses her free time EXACTLY as I did! Always dancing, always involved in art projects, always changing clothes, working with flowers, playing outside. It's been fun to watch.

Just when I think I have it all together I realize I know so very little, and I can control even less. I have so many plans, lists, ideas, but at the end of the day I find it extremely difficult to be the mother, wife, daughter, friend that I want to be. I feel more powerless than ever. I need Jesus every second of the day.

My life is challenging right now. It always is in one way or another, right? But I am thankful. Thankful to know Jesus, to have the freedom to enjoy His blessings, and to have a place to land when things are difficult. Life is beautiful when I am living for Him!

Pictures: these purple wild flowers

2.Daddy's girl

3.soon-to-be blackberries; a picture of hope

4.our outdoorsy girl

5.a beautiful "oops!"

6. Blueberries almost ripe!

**Boys not pictured, they were inside with fevers when we took our nature walk! :(

1 comment:

Meredith Howard said...

I have gone through the same "work outside the home" issues this year. Raising children and taking care of a home is the most difficult job in the world. I think that's why most women work outside the home! I have branched out a couple of times this year and then been brought back to my family. God isn't ready to let me out of this house yet.