Monday, May 02, 2011

What I've learned so far

We've been living here on the farm for a couple of months now. I have had highs and lows, both graceful and pitiful moments. But one thing I know for sure, and that is my Savior holds me in the palm of His hand. Here are some reoccurring themes that He has brought to mind since we moved:


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Wait on the Lord! (And I thought that once we moved the waiting would be over!) So many ways that I need his guidance as a Mom right now. So many things I am sad about still regarding our move. So many things to do, people who need help, etc. and I need Him to show me what to do.

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Do not react to a situation at first glance. Step back and settle in before acting. I thought I knew hard work before. But I was wrong. What EVERYONE told us who has ever lived on a farm is true...it's a lot.of.work. But so far, I haven't found anything in the Bible that frowns on working hard. The only exception I have found is working on the Sabbath. You can bet we have found the commandment to rest and keep that day holy one very easy to follow these days!!

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My husband loves me. And I pray to God I never have to live a day on this earth without him. Our lives are intertwined in such a way that I find it hard to function well as an individual or a family when he is gone.

Being outside is the best medicine. I have noticed and enjoyed/appreciated His creation during the past couple of months in a way that I never have before. If I feel sad or stressed, it always helps to take the time to breathe fresh air and work with my hands.

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I like the depth of community that people enjoy in rural areas. Some people that I know turn their noses up to the people in our community. They make assumptions based on their houses, cars, or what not. But I have seen my neighbors show the love of Christ to one another in a way that I have never been exposed to before. They see the care of their neighbors as a real responsibility, not just an option. It has been an inspiration for me.

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Being healthy is such a luxury, a privilege. And having a roof over our heads is as well. Between nearly a dozen illnesses in our own home since we moved, and now the after effects of the tornadoes I feel this truth more than ever.

I have found myself wondering lately if I would feel more happy and fulfilled if I worked outside the home. All the mommy stuff just felt so monotonous and overwhelming. Andy says I have been burned out this year. Maybe he is right. I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost eleven years. And of those 11, I have had one or more children at home with me almost every day. That's a lot of days to take care of kids! But I feel a renewed sense of calling and purpose. And I praise God for it. I couldn't muster it up on my own. I knew all along that this is where I am supposed to be. But it feels good to want and enjoy this good thing.

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My daughter and I are so much alike! She has had a lot of free time alone these days. The boys are at school all day. And I have been very occupied with house/farm stuff. I have watched her blossom and seen her personality shine through more than ever. She uses her free time EXACTLY as I did! Always dancing, always involved in art projects, always changing clothes, working with flowers, playing outside. It's been fun to watch.

Just when I think I have it all together I realize I know so very little, and I can control even less. I have so many plans, lists, ideas, but at the end of the day I find it extremely difficult to be the mother, wife, daughter, friend that I want to be. I feel more powerless than ever. I need Jesus every second of the day.


My life is challenging right now. It always is in one way or another, right? But I am thankful. Thankful to know Jesus, to have the freedom to enjoy His blessings, and to have a place to land when things are difficult. Life is beautiful when I am living for Him!

Pictures:

1.love these purple wild flowers

2.Daddy's girl

3.soon-to-be blackberries; a picture of hope

4.our outdoorsy girl

5.a beautiful "oops!"

6. Blueberries almost ripe!

**Boys not pictured, they were inside with fevers when we took our nature walk! :(

1 comment:

Meredith Howard said...

I have gone through the same "work outside the home" issues this year. Raising children and taking care of a home is the most difficult job in the world. I think that's why most women work outside the home! I have branched out a couple of times this year and then been brought back to my family. God isn't ready to let me out of this house yet.