"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair."
C. S. Lewis
I am really struggling right now to not live in fear. I am concerned about the area to which we are moving for several reasons. I am really dreading leaving behind my dreamy church, friends, house, among other things. (Have I mentioned Target lately?) I am contemplating putting the boys in a Christian school instead of homeschooling because they will need a close community of good friends, which seems like it will be hard to provide. Our schooling options are limited (unless we want to travel an hour away!), but there is one possibility nearby. Ultimately, I am fearful that my little dream life that I have enjoyed for the past three years is coming to an end-in every way! And as a woman, I certainly do enjoy security (aka a "game plan").
But quite frankly, earthly security is just not what the Lord desires for me. And although it is uncomfortable to admit, I need less of it. I need to be forced to dwell on my heavenly home and the security that it will provide more than I have been. I need to be forced to rely on God more. Through prayer, I desire the peace that comes with submitting fully to what might be difficult, knowing that He only gives us the very best thing for our sanctification. Maybe that sanctification process, the slow and certain process of seeing and loving the world as Jesus does, needs to be more important to me. Maybe I have taken my eyes off of Christ and made comfort, stability, and predictability dangerous idols in my life.
I am praying for the wisdom, strength, and faith to face this change with zeal and hope. Knowing and following Christ is a wonderful journey to be on. It is always life-giving, joyful (not necessarily happy), and rewarding- even with hardship, trial, and suffering. I guess what it all boils down to is this: I do not really need answers or a plan or anything else that would boost my confidence regarding the future. I need Jesus-His grace is sufficient for me!
Isaiah 41:10
"Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
2 comments:
Ken and I were talking about you guys last night at dinner--about all of the changes that God has in store for you. I know this will be hard for you to move, but I "amen" what you have just said. God has a beautiful end in sight for your family. He must have something wonderful for you to do for Him in your future home! We are praying for all of you!
There are lots of homeschool groups all around Alabama - lots of play dates, co-ops, ect (I think more so in the north half of AL than the south(where I'm at). If you where close by I know my boys would love to play with yours. You can find some groups from leapingfromthebox.com. I pray that all goes well in your move.
Michelle (from south Alabama)
Post a Comment