Monday, August 21, 2006

What's my deal?

I am such a people-person. Sometimes I wish that God had designed me a little differently. I know that I am being so disrespectful to Him when I say that. I mean, I am His creation and formed just like He meant for me to be. But if I am honest with myself, I do wish sometimes that I could change some things about myself that are just fundamentally me.

One of those things is my LOVE of being with others. Poor guy, I married this precious man who is so perfectly content to be alone, at least some of the time. Don't get me wrong, I have never met a single person who didn't like him or want to be his friend. His is funny and friendly and loyal, but he is much more content to just be. I am writing all this to say that I am annoyed with myself! Today we had a great day. Nothing special, but good. I got plenty of things done around the house, we got everything done that I wanted to accomplish during school, etc. I even got to see my college roommate for a quick visit as she and her family were passing through town. (This was the highlight of my day. She lives in Paris and we only see each other every few years. I met her 18 month old for the first time today!) Anyway, so my man has plans to have dinner with two friends who both need advice. I was more than happy for him to go and be a good friend. Really, I was! But the minute he walked out the door I was lonely. WHY? I can't explain it. I spent several hours with a good friend, the kids and I had been together all day, and I still wanted more!

Have any of you ever read the Love Languages book by Gary Smalley? Well if you have, you know that there are 5 ways that people give and receive love. Not surprisingly, my top two are physical touch and quality time together. Of course, my husband would rate those on the bottom of his list. He is an acts of service guy. (The other two "languages" are words of affirmation and gift giving.) Since we read that book together 10 years ago when we first got married, my husband is incredible at "speaking my language". I have gotten better at what I expect. I just wish that I could learn to be happier when I am by myself. What's the deal?

4 comments:

Joan said...

I like the realness of this post.

I guess when you are one...you really do miss your "other half". I know I do. Just having him home makes me feel complete and whole and safe. I'm very lonely when he's gone at night, too.

Ever read "31 Days of Praise" by Ruth Myers? A keeper.

Blessings!

Wendy said...

I've read the book and those are probably my top two as well.
I can relate to what you are saying. I am a people person too. I grew always being surrounded by lots of people and I like that.

Kate said...

Are you lonely because you just moved? I hope your new home and n'hood bloom some great friendships.
I love Gary Smalley's Love Languages book. I loved them so much that I bought The 5 Love Languages of Children and The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers. (I bought the one for teenagers back when my oldest was 8 since I was so excited to see it! What, did I think it was going to be out of print in a few years?!) I'm getting ready to read it this fall since he is turning 12. YIKES!

RHB said...

I think our love languages are the same- no wonder we were best buds in college! Yep, I feel the same way- love being with people- get depressed when I don't have plans to see and do things with people. Want to be with D all the time (he's in Italy currently). I know that the Lord has had to show me many a time (like when you and A got engaged) that I need to make sure that my joy and contentment is truly in Him and not in people. I think no matter how much I get it- I have to be reminded because I am such a people person that my tendency is to unconsciously try and get my needs met in relationship with people (friends, husband, etc) instead of in Him. Love and miss you!
Rach