Freaking out a little

I remember when I was pregnant with our first child, I had a friend that was ALWAYS having "one of those days". She had three kids, as a matter of fact, each about the age of mine now. I remember another friend telling me, "We will never be one of those mothers." Famous last words.

Here I am almost ten years later, and almost every day this week I have found myself in one of those days. Granted, my husband just spent his fifth day in bed with another back injury (including Wednesday which was his birthday). And granted J's play was cancelled on Tuesday which was crushing after all the hype and practice for his very first acting gig. (Not really a gig, but still.) And also, I do have a severe case of pms that even my prescription medicine can't touch. But still, I can't believe it's come to this. Well I can, because pride does come before the fall. And aren't all new moms a little prideful? We just have no idea. We think the loud kid in the restaurant will never be ours. And the sight of a little boy going potty by the mini-van on the side of the highway is enough to make us turn our noses up in disgust. At some point, we even believe the snotty, disheveled kid in the grocery cart only belongs to neglectful parents. Oh, it's all so laughable now.

So I am going to bed a little uneasy. We just watched "Where the Wild Things Are" and it was disturbing. All I could think about was, "I wonder if one of my children is that angry?" J kept telling me I was missing the point of the movie when I kept whispering questions in his ear. So, what WAS the point of that movie? And, my girl just cried herself to sleep because I wouldn't be the one to put her to bed. (It's Mimi's last night here, and I REALLY needed the break.) And will my middle child always be this quiet? And (because I am a burden-bearer) is that couple at church really going to split up? Yes, it's definitely been one of those weeks! Time to take that pms medicine, pray and lay my burdens down, sleep, and search for a little gratitude. (And if that doesn't help by 9am tomorrow, maybe a fun, free day is in order. I think this constitutes a sick day.)

Good night.