It's a true adventure, walking with Jesus in the context of a fallen world. It never ceases to amaze me how the peaks and pits can all squeeze into a matter of days. This week was no different.
It started off beautifully. The boys had wonderful days at their hybrid school. We are really getting into a groove with school at home, too. I am settling into the driving time, enjoying it as much as possible. I LOVE my day at home alone with Lydie. We are baking, she is learning to read at such a quick pace, she paints every day, and we cuddle and read. Kindergarten is amazing. She adores gymnastics. And what's more fun than watching your child learn something that they really enjoy? The boys are making sweet, precious friends at school. It seems they have already found a group of great guys to hang out with. (And, their friends are in the same group- the beauty of being in a 3rd-5th grade class together...gush!)
On their off days (Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday) we sleep late. We linger on the sofa for over an hour with the Bible and our devotion. We discuss, they ask pent-up questions, we pray. It's lovely. Then we work hard, and I feel really comfortable with our work load. We are learning a lot and they are being challenged. The boys are flying along with guitar and golf. And Lydie starts ballet next week. I LOVE watching them learn. This week also brought the celebration of Joshua's birthday and Andy and my 15th wedding anniversary. It was magical.
I began to think on Thursday morning, this may turn out to be a FABULOUS year! I am generally easily excited about life. But I really began to get elated. I was looking forward to our football kick-off night with friends. I weighed in losing 14 pounds. Good, good, good!
Then I got a devastating call. My Mom had a reoccurring cyst that needed to be removed on Wednesday. I spoke of her first episode here in June. She finally heard from the pathology report, and this time it is cancer. BOOM! The hammer fell. I kept telling myself, "Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever!" His unfailing love is the same after the boom as before when all my ducks were in a row and I envisioned a seamless year. I TRULY believe it, too. He knows, He ordains, He loves, He carries, He purposes. I've experienced unexplicable joy in the midst of sorrow before, and I know what it feels like to be carried in His arms.
So now all I know to do is take this "ideal" school year that I have constructed and give it back to Jesus. My weeks are jammed packed with serving my children, husband, neighbors, and entertaining family and friends. It all looked so good in my mind, and I confess, on paper. (I am one of THOSE people who writes out a schedule for menus, chores, school, etc.) But my ideal year is being tossed in the blender on the liquefy mode. So I will have to do what the Lord knows is so very difficult for me- follow Him closely every day. No planning. No game plan. No predictability. Just daily, me and Him, walking together as I wait for Him to order my days. I will be learning anew this season what it means to honor my father and my mother. I am blessed to be called to do so. I know it will stretch me, but Jesus will sustain our family and hold us tight. I pray I can be the hands and feet of Jesus to my sweet parents who I love so dearly!
Andy and I were just talking on our anniversary about CLINGING to Christ, and consequently to one another. No matter how easy or difficult our current stage of life might be, it's the only answer, really. Holding on TIGHTLY!
Please pray for us, and especially for my Mom. Pray for healing, faith, peace, and joy. Pray for more Jesus for all of us. As God uses this deeply painful and challenging illness for His glory, this truly could be the most AMAZING year ever as we taste of the deep riches of His grace.