Today the post partum hormones have surged. Ugg. I should have seen this coming. Today was a day full of doubts and fears...all day long! The baby would fuss after a feeding and I would secretly wonder, "Could this be the beginning of colic??" It was our first day to homeschool since we welcomed our new little one into the family and the lessons went really well, but I still wondered why in the world I had willingly chosen this for us this year. It seemed like too much today. Even though I am down 20 pounds, I still have 13 to go to be back to pre-baby weight. I wondered as I took a 1/2 mile walk and became winded if I would ever get "my body" back. I watched my mom cook dinner #10 for us and wondered how in the world I would manage dinner next week when she leaves. My man chose to play his Play Station football game tonight after the kids went to bed and I wondered why he would choose to do that over be with me.
The pattern here is not good, I know. I'm blaming it on the hormones. I am going to go and pray that God would give me a deep sense of the impact I am making on my children for eternity. I am going to pray that He will fill me with a deep sense of His love and calling for me. I am going to pray that He will take every thought captive. And, I'm not gonna lie, I am going to lay all of these requests before Him. And I am going to pray that He will help me to be realistic. The baby is only 11 days old. I think I have just been looking so forward to feeling good that I am rushing into everything. I'm exhausted!
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1 comment:
Renee, I am still working on getting my body back after SA and moving to the land of croissants. Give yourself a break. You are going to look great again- it just takes more than 12 days after the birth. :) Love you!
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