Pressing

I just can't seem to recover from the frenetic pace of this past school year. I try to relax in the Word or a book, but my mind is constantly racing with put-off responsibilities. So I get up and work on those things, only to shortly feel overwhelmed. Even rest is overshadowed with the "too much" of life. I feel like a ping pong ball- back and forth.

I feel the Lord calling me out, but I can't quite make out how. I keep telling myself to "serve joyfully", all the while knowing it's not a heart problem. I need to make a change. Where to begin?

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."

Frederick Buechner

I miss the days that we lived in Atlanta. My husband worked outside the home. I homeschooled and spent my days managing our children and home and serving our church as a volunteer. We used our home all the time for ministry- homeschool support group, prayer group, dinners, youth, playgroups. Such simplicity, and yet I felt fully satisfied, using my gifts for the Lord everyday.

Now I feel frantically overcommitted. I feel like I am trying to serve in areas where I am being pushed beyond my capabilities. Am I just being challenged and feeling the rub?

This stress will be a matter of prayer this summer. Something will have to change- whether my heart or my commitments. Something will have to give.

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us

but to your name be the glory,

because of your love and faithfulness..."

Ps. 115:1